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it's so hot...

... that the A/C is out in the mall.
... that the refrigerators broke at Albertsons.
... that the A/C and some refrigerators were also broken at Safeway.
... that EVERYONE feels the need to mention the excessive heat, myself included.
... that nothing you wear is cool enough - even underwear feels like too much.
... that the water I left in the car could have boiled an egg when I came back.
... that the temperature gauges are reading 111 today!



IS TOO HOT for Pleasanton. I am going to my sister's house to swim. But I get to look forward to 107 tomorrow... I'm puddeling.

20 Minutes later... Ok, it's 107, now. It's 4:52 and hotter than ever. Help!


not good

It's been a while since I posted about my dad. For those of you whom are unaware, my dad has been suffering with Multiple Myeloma (blood cancer - also known as plasma cell myeloma) since 2001. It has been a long, tiring battle. We thought we had it under control. However, inside of 3 months, his cancer had aggressively progressed to manifest itself as lesions on the bone - as the doctors said, "It's just the way that the disease progresses." It goes to show us that nothing is in our control.

I am not ready for his disease to progress. He is going to begin radiation treatments today and he is going to try another chemotherapy in the pill form, but the grim response from his doctors is not encouraging. I am not trying to be all about doom and gloom. I know miracles happen and I know we have experienced many miracles with his progress thus far. It's just disheartening to see him worse than he's ever been and to know that the cancer is eating at his bones causing him terrible, terrible pain.

This is my daddy, I'm talking about. He's not just my father. He's been the strong arms to throw me into the air when I was a girl, his were the footsteps through the front door that sent me running, he is the gentle giant always on my side, he is the buddy I turn to when I'm frustrated, he was the proud and smiling vision from behind my wedding veil and until my husband, he was the leading man in my life. He's my daddy and he's in pain. His soft baby blues betray him, even through his strong countenance and bravado. He is in pain and he is scared. I don't think anything has scared me this much, in a very, very long time.

I am weary and trying my best to lean on Christ. I know He takes the burdens from my shoulders. I know He is the only way through all of this. Please pray for him.


my stepson

On Saturday, we started to dismantle Luke's room. We go through this every time he visits. We keep large storage bins full of his topys and decorations in our garage and just before he comes out, we transform the guest room/office into Luke's room. It's something nice for him - he knows that he has a room with us. This year's dismantle was harder for me than I expected. I miss him.


hurt someone you love, by doing something foolish

Someone from my past decided it would be a good idea to attempt a courtship with someone I'm very close to. The person from the past is an unsavory individual wtih a recent history of putting me, and my family, through a certain amount of pain. Being of reasonably sound mind and body, I informed said loser that he was to stay away from my dear friend - which of course, he did not.

I did not expect this woman, whom I would consider closer to me than my own sisters, to choose to reciprocate an interest. Feeling partially obligated to inform her of all the details, I decided it would be a good idea to tell her EVERYTHING. Very few people know the whole truth. I also told her, albeit late, that it hurt my feelings that she continued on with this. This has changed nothing.

Where I have erred: getting involved at all. When it comes down to it, I don't care who dates whom. I just care that someone I love is headed down a road, paved with my tears, side by side with one of the persons personally responsible for it.

What kills me: it's irrelevant to her.

Yep... I can not give y'all the details, because it wouldn't be right. I'm not even saying my irritation is justified, but I cannot help how repulsed and hurt I am by the whole thing.

Not-so-BCBG, you suck.