the brat

My sisters have always called me "the brat." As little sisters go, I guess I was one. I teased, I taunted, I made life more than a little difficult for them. For one thing, I was a huge whiner. If you were so unlucky as to get on my bad side, a high-pitched whine of mumbled complaints would be all that you heard until I finally got my way. I was ruthless, but I had to be. There is nothing worse than two older sisters ganging up on you - so I had to set-up a defense system to at least deter their attacks.

Sadly, this little trait of mine has followed me into my adult years. The fast continues and while I don't think about shopping all the time, I get kind of annoyed when I cannot buy something I want. Annoyed is a slightly better term for what I actually felt.

Let's set the scene for the most recent rampage of the brat:
Disneyland, 2005, is bustling with excitement. The 50th anniversary is bringing record crowds and our family happens to be among them. Take a trip to New Orleans Square with me, let's stop at the Blue Bayou first. Now, let's take a peak at Club 33 and hope to catch a glimpse of the people waiting to get into the elite restaurant. Let's round the corner and stop in a the very fancy Jewel of New Orleans shop. The mahogany and glass display counters encase the jewels of the past. This is one store in Disneyland that easily carries the highest priced items in the park - including rings, earrings and bracelets from the Victorian era. A young woman is at the case on the right and the saleswoman is telling her about a gorgeous white gold and garnet ring from 1950. The young woman is convinced that it, like everything else, was priced well above and beyond anything she can purchase, but she likes to try them on and image the hands they have adorned. Then she realizes that this gorgeous ring is actually not very expensive, at all. Let the pining begin...

"Oh honey, come over and see this! It's so original and it's totally affordable." She started with a not-too-subtle hint and continued for about three minutes.

After hearing the price and her plea, her husband says "But you are on a fast from shopping. You cannot buy it."

"What do you mean 'cannot'?" she asks, in an almost shrill voice.

"You made a commitment not to shop, and this definitely counts as shopping. No, honey. I'm sorry. You should not buy it and I will not support your decision to do so." he says calmly.

"I hate that you get to dictate what I can and cannot buy," the ugliness, the brattiness and the claws comes out in her final statement before walking away. She was trying hard not to think of the wounded expression in his eyes and keep her focus on what he had denied her.

A few hours later, the young women couldn't help but continue to feel bad for the way she reacted. She felt that he was using the fast to his advantage - like he didn't think she was worth the pretty ring. She did finally come to her senses and realize that she was being totally unfair to be mad at him for holding her accountable to her promise. Oh how she hates to be wrong! All pride thrown aside, she apologized and he graciously accepted. Done deal.

Obviously, you are aware of the young woman's identity. I kept wishing that I has reacted with grace and with acceptance. I felt horrible. It would have been better if I had just whined about it, like I would have 20 years ago. But with age, you also grow in your ability to hurt people. I wish that wasn't true.

Later that night, Justin put a white box in front of me. I gasped. Nervously, I opened the box and nestled in its satin lining was the ring. With tears in my eyes I looked at him with gratitude. It is a beautiful ring. He completely surprised me. I didn't deserve it, but he thought I did. It will always hold two special reminders for me:
1.) Of course he thinks you're worth it - he loves you to pieces.
2.) Stop being a brat!