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3.18.2006


what to do when...

Someone in your extended family, and I won't name names, hits on another member of your family. (Side note for your own relief: they are not blood-related in any way.)

We'll call the hitter Bob, and the hittee Emma.

Bob is always trying to pick-up on my friends, cousins and basically anything female that breathes and moves. I mean, seriously, the guy is a walking pick-up line. However, Bob manages to hide it behind a hard-to-read smoke screen of jokes and discreet innuendos. So, lately he has been emailing a close friend and relative of mine, Emma. I find it mildly amusing, because he has no chance with her, but I also find it unsettling. I mean, why would anyone turn to their family when they're out of people to hit on? Bob really has one outstanding quality - his sense of humor. But as I told Justin at dinner: funny will get you far, but it won't get you into your family's pants.

That could be the oddest thing I have ever said - lately. For an odder statement, I'll mention my friend, Jewel, a bathtub and how they all fit together at a later date.

In the meantime, y'all stay shiny, now.

5 Comments:

At 3/18/2006 10:32 PM, Anonymous nate Left a note...

well, you know what they say back in the ol' midwest...if you ain't good enough for your own family, you sure as heck ain't good 'nuf for anyone elses.

 
At 3/18/2006 10:37 PM, Anonymous Tzar Kazim Left a note...

So is Bob the hitter-onner or is it Tom...? I'm confused. However, I must say, this guy sounds pretty strange. Maybe he should date a blind girl, or someone with a gum problem.

 
At 3/19/2006 6:59 AM, Blogger Marla Bean Left a note...

Ok Tzar, I couldn't decide what ficticious name to give him, so I fixed it. He is now known simply as Bob.

 
At 3/20/2006 12:17 PM, Blogger Jen Left a note...

Clearly, you haven't spent enough time in the South. I have a feeling I know which relatives these are, but I will verify offline. I like gossip puzzles!

Those three things at the end? You're lacking one key ingredient: Wine. Lots and lots of wine. (For the record, because she always forgets this bit, there was NO WATER in the tub.)

Also, how does that story come up in a discussion of family trees that don't fork?

 
At 3/20/2006 3:30 PM, Anonymous Nettie Left a note...

How'd you know I was already shiny?

 

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