.comment-link {margin-left:.6em;}



It's Friday night. Justin is out. Luke is asleep. I am about to start my cleaning ritual, but I am feeling unusually lazy. It's the heat, I'm sure.

Do you guys know how much of a clean freak I am? I mean it borders on OCD, if not crosses the line in several areas. I get agitated if the house isn't always "just so." I know when people move things and I impulsively move them back - most of the time I don't even realize I do it, either. Sometimes my friends or my sisters will move things, just to watch me move them back unconsciously.

When I say "clean" I mean CLEAN. I break out the toothpicks, old toothbrushes and Q-tips to make sure corners and crevices are absolutely clear of dirt, crud and scum. Even if the bathroom appears clean, I assume it is not and scour it every Friday (unless we go out, at which point I will clean it no later than Saturday morning). It's really a sickness, people. I don't feel like I can leave the house on the weekends, unless I have thoroughly cleaned it. Luckily, we live in a 2-bedroom condo, so it doesn't take me that long to clean. Can you imagine what I will be like when we get a house? I shudder to think! I like for cabinets and drawers to be organized and neat, so that when I open them I feel a sense of order - by color, size and type. Justin says, in that respect, I would have made a great Marine.

When Luke is here, my cleaning is on overdrive. I feel like I have to run after him with a bottle of disinfectant. I love him, but Luke sneezes, coughs and boogers just about everything we own. Oh and the hands! No matter how often we make him wash his hands, they still leave gummy residue on all household and vehicle surfaces. I consider our dinner table the very definition of cesspool by the time he's done with his nightly feeding frenzy. How DOES more food get on the floor and smeared across the table than there every seems to be on his plate?

Everyone says that when you have your own kids... It will be different. (By the way, step-parents don't really like to constantly be told what it will be like when they have their own.) Like suddenly my entire personality will change? I don't think so. I am sure I will relax a little - which I do when Luke is here. You should see my messy dresser! I haven't refolded its contents in almost 5 weeks. But I don't see me every having the type of nastiness in my home that I typically would run away from. I would have to go clinically insane for me not clean, which I find to be a rather circular conclusion to my hypothesis. The only way to rid me of this OCD-ish cleanliness would be for me to be insane. Hmmmm....

Well, I don't have time to go into this anymore, I just realized that it's been FIVE weeks since my last drawer re-organization!


At 7/16/2005 12:00 PM, Blogger Nettie Left a note...

My sister and her husband are both pretty much control freaks, maybe not to the same degree of cleanliness though. So far they've just transferred their worry to their son, although he is their first.

At 7/16/2005 4:56 PM, Blogger Ricky Left a note...

Marla, feel free to come over here ANY time you'd like. Although, I'm not sure you'd even be able to comprehend how Nicki and I have been living the last 15 months. The house has been in the court system since we moved in(legal battle with Nicki's step-grandmother, satan), and it was just settled a month ago. Seriously, it's fucking gross.

At 7/17/2005 10:36 AM, Blogger Jackson Left a note...

I like to move stuff around too, just to see Janelle's reaction. Or I'll go to grab a cereal box off the top of the fridge, but instead of actually grabbing one I'll fumble around with them so they just keep falling over and I just stand there staring at Janelle and messing up the cereal boxes until she says "stooooooooppppp!" It's so much fun.

At 7/18/2005 2:02 AM, Blogger Scott Parejo Left a note...

I just poured the contents of my dresser out as tribute (a la pouring out a fotie for dead homiez). Now I will have to iron before work tomorrow.

But I am free now, so I added you as a link to my site as a return favor for said freedom. Blog looks great!

At 7/18/2005 4:56 AM, Blogger Jen Left a note...

Dude...knew I should have married you.

As for it being different with "your own" kids, I wouldn't say that. I think it's just a matter of not having an outside person involved in the munchkin-training. Maybe people have more patience when they know that they're the only ones responsible for raising the kid? Beats me. I've seen all kinds of families over the years, and there just ain't no set formula. No one knows what it will be like when you're a mom, 'cause no one's you...tell 'em all to stuff it.

Wanna come clean my shower? ;)

At 7/18/2005 9:16 AM, Blogger Marla Bean Left a note...

You guys crack me up. See, now you're getting inklings as to how deep the rabbit hole goes with me... Yeah, all the way to the bottom of my dresser.

Anyway, thanks, Scotty, for linking me! Youre blog cracks me up!! You're totally funny and witty.

Jen, you are SO MY BEEOTCH. I would have married you... You know, expect for that whole sining Jewel in the bathtub when you're drunk - hey folks, she had her clothes on... AND there wasn't any water in the bathtub (Jen gets kinda mad if you leave out those tiny details).

At 7/18/2005 9:08 PM, Blogger Darlene Left a note...

I bow to you oh mighty one! I wish I possessed the powers of clean freakness. I don't. Argh!


Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

It's 'bean' fun...

Back to the daily grind...