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Wicked Stepmother

The Luau
Originally uploaded by BeanTipton.
What's the deal with the stepmother reputation? Why do we get the bad rap? I mean, sure it's fun to depict them as evil and nasty for fictional purposes, but there are those of us who really don't deserve the negative connotations. Ok, the stepmother in Cinderella deserves the bad rap, but c'mon! She locked Cinderella in the tower and broke the glass slipper!

I digress...

I have been a stepmom for a little over a year. I have had the chance to see Luke a total of 5 months in the past year. I have gotten the chance to see him change, grow and develope a cute little personality. This is the fun part.

I don't recommend part-time parenthood for anyone, but if it happens - make the best out of it. The best advice I have ever gotten was from my dear aunt Mitzi (who is no longer with us). She told me that the best I could hope for would to be his friend. That, in time, Luke would respect me for all the work I have done on his behalf, but that I can not replace his mom, nor should I ever try. While I think that Mitzi was coming from a very different palce in life, being a single-mother for the majority of my cousin's childhood, she did help me to take a step back. I never thought that I would take the place of Luke's mom, but I never thought to approach it as a friend. Of course, doing this with a 4-year-old is more like being a big sister, but when I relax a little, we get along famously.

Now, I just get to wait, patiently, for those inevitable four words that will come with time - "You're not my mommy!"


At 6/30/2005 9:51 AM, Blogger Jen Left a note...

"You're not my mommy."

"Nope, but I'm still bigger than you and control your access to TV/Playstation/the car."

(Insert privilege based on age...)

All I know about this is that it falls to Justin as the "official" parent in your home to make Luke understand that the two of you are a parenting unit, and what one of you says, the other will back up. "Mom" is still part of the term "stepmom."

Hang in there, love. All in all, he's a pretty good kid, yeah?

At 6/30/2005 11:26 AM, Blogger Marla Bean Left a note...

He's actually a great kid. Perfect for screwing-up with a mixed-up family life. Woo hoo! Go divorce! Actually, I just blame D.

At 7/05/2005 8:59 PM, Anonymous Anonymous Left a note...

(hoping you'll read this someday)...yeah but if not for D being D, Justin would never have met you. We're glad he did. -Weave

At 7/06/2005 10:45 AM, Anonymous Anonymous Left a note...

Nobody liked D anyways. You're much better. -- Endo!

At 7/06/2005 11:58 AM, Blogger Marla Bean Left a note...

Hey guys! You're gonna make me cry. I feel really fornute to have married a man with great friends - that I actually like.

We don't see y'all enough. I know. I know. Life is nuts and we all live so far apart. We should really try to get together, soon. Maybe when Weave makes his CA trek.

Anyway, if I sound harsh on D, it's only because I am trying to vent about it - in a way that doesn't involve me annoying Justin too much. Justin and I have talked a lot about how our pasts had to have happened the way they did, otherwise our paths wouldn't have crossed, again, and we wouldn't have been the people we are today. Believe me, we both appreciate that... Even if it does make D a part of all that.

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