Marla's Random Beans

for wendy only

2011-09-16T12:56:00.001-07:00

Kelvin Kruger (1951-2011): My dad... An inspiration, a fighter and my hero.

2011-07-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Kelvin Jon Kruger was born on Thursday, April 5, 1951 in Tyler, Minnesota. He was the fourth child of Helen and John E. Kruger. Kelvin grew up on his parents’ dairy farm in Ruthton, MN and tended to the animals and fields at a very early age. He had 4 brothers and 2 sisters. Born with a rumbling engine in his ear, Kelvin attended Canby Tech Vocational School for auto mechanics after graduating from Ruthton High School in Ruthton, Minnesota.

In 1973, Kelvin loaded up his car and moved to Southern California where he worked with his brothers Eldon and Harlan at Brothers Auto Repair. In 1980, the Kruger Family moved to the Fremont, CA, area. Kelvin had his first interview and was hired on the spot to work at Jim Moran Oldsmobile as a mechanic. When he wasn’t at work, he was busy helping fix the vehicles of friends, family and neighbors out of his home garage. It wasn’t long before Kelvin’s Auto Repair (The KAR Shop) sparked into existence. In 1984, he opened the doors to the KAR Shop in Fremont. Kelvin wanted to offer a complete, one-stop auto repair shop. He dreamed of offering a place where you could take your vehicle and know that it was getting the best, most honest service in the area. His dream came true. The KAR Shop quickly became one of the most respected independent auto repair shops in the area. The KAR Shop has a long list of customers who were there in the beginning and have stayed with him throughout his 27 years in business.

More than just an auto repair shop, The KAR Shop became a training ground for many mechanics who moved on to start their own businesses. Kelvin was a remarkable teacher – tough, but always demonstrating a better and more efficient way to get the job done. It was also the location where people could see the entire Kruger family at work. All three of his daughters and Natalie could be seen behind the desk at The KAR Shop at various points throughout the shop’s history.

In 2001, Kelvin was diagnosed with Lymphoma and Multiple Myeloma. Not one to take anything sitting down, Kelvin put up the fight of his life against this cancer. He succeeded on many different fronts, including a stem cell transplant. For over 10 years, Kelvin fought an amazing, valiant battle against a terminal illness. He was and always will be an inspiration for how he fought. Even his doctors were amazed.

At the age of 60, Kelvin passed away at 9:35 on the evening of Tuesday, June 28, at his ranch in Sunol, surrounded by his loved ones. Kelvin is survived by his wife, Natalie Kruger; his daughters and sons-in-law: Jacquelyn and John Howard, Leilani and Tom Arendell, and Marla and Justin Tipton; his five grandchildren: Robert Thomas Howard, Lucas Daniel Tipton, Keilani Rose Arendell, Makaio Thomas Arendell, and Jack Kelvin Tipton; his mother, Helen Kruger; his brothers and sisters, Eldon Kruger, Karen Strom, Harlan Kruger, Teresa Herd, Roger Kruger and Jon Kruger; and many much-loved sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, nieces, nephews and countless friends and extended family whom he cherished dearly.

Kelvin will always be remembered for his tough-guy exterior, but soft heart. He prided himself on being a strong man who took care of his family. He leaves behind a legacy of hard work, honesty, caring and persistence. Always wanting to be remembered as a hero, he succeeded in that desire. Not only do his family and friends believe he is a hero, but so do the other patients who knew him and who shared his diagnosis.

A Celebration of Life ceremony will be held at his ranch in Sunol on Saturday, July 16 at 1:30 pm. Please call (925) 456-4026 for more details if you would like to attend. The family requests that contributions be made to the International Myeloma Foundation in lieu of flowers. Please mail donations in memory of Kelvin Kruger to: International Myeloma Foundation, 12650 Riverside Dr. Suite 206, North Hollywood, CA 91607.

fear, birthing, 30 days to go

2010-04-04T20:29:00.001-07:00

30 days to go... I can't begin to tell you how those four words strike fear into my very core. I have anxiety about whether or not I am ready for this child to be outside of my womb. I don't really have a choice - he is coming and that is that. I am thrilled to meet my son, I already love him to tiny bits.

I have had a wonderful, intimate pregnancy. I have been happy and healthy those whole time. As my time draws nearer, I am sad to see the pregnancy go. I will miss his little movements. I will miss keeping him safe and sound in there. Once he arrives, a whole new set of worries will begin.

Right now, I am focused on labor and I'm thinking about the many ways it could go. I have some ideals, but after reading "Birthing from Within" I have learned that perhaps my birth plan needs to get tossed. There is nothing about labor and delivery that can be really planned and having one will only set me up for disappointment when things don't go exactly according to plan. That strikes a cord with me, and not just because it means I get to be less specific about "my plan." I am constantly setting myself for unrealistic expectations. I just wish I could really get my head around what is exactly going to happen. Not the scientific stuff, that I know.

My son moves and wiggles and flops around all day. It's an endearing feeling that I totally enjoy. So, for tonight at least, I'm going to stop worrying and just enjoy. I'm going to try to just enjoy the remainder of my time with him in my womb.

I will birth my baby

2010-01-15T10:29:00.000-08:00

I have been taking prenatal yoga (also known as and hour and fifteen minutes of kegals), which is supposed to be so good for me and baby. I am definitely feeling a new kind of stretch. Our instructor is encouraging and it's such a calm, relaxing atmosphere. The music, the mood, the breathing, the affirmations... It's all so peaceful and calming. So, in the midst of the patchouli haze of relaxation, why do I giggle when the instructor asks us to repeat the affirmation: "I will birth my baby."

Wait? I have a choice here? Someone else can birth my baby? Sweet.

121 days to go

2010-01-04T20:25:00.000-08:00

Almost a year since my last post? Seriously? OK, so I'm going to say that going from just the two of us to a family of 3 and then losing our house in the fire did some serious damage to my blogging. Justin just sat down near me and said, "YOU'RE BLOGGING? What's it been? A year?" Ok, ok, ok. So, it's been a while. Aren't I allowed a break, dear blogdom?

In case this is news to you, Justin and I are expecting a little boy in May and I couldn't be happier. I find the world of pregnancy most enjoyable and very strange. I skipped right over the morning sickness and I have felt pretty good most of the past nearly 6 months. I know some of you ladies out there don't think it's fair, but I can't help it. So far, I have been extremely blessed. I have even managed to get Justin and Luke through this relatively unscathed... There is an evil monster that dwells in the hungry belly of pregnant Marla and she is irrational and downright shrill. Thank goodness, she has only appeared twice.

Also, like many of the mommies-to-be out there, I could do without some of the unsolicited advice, but thankfully I haven't been on the receiving end of many stranger belly rubs. Phew!

Kicking has become much more prominent in the last week and it's really funny. He likes to jump around all day. I imagine he's a little jumping bean bouncing from side to side in there. Well, little man, enjoy the room while you have it.

I do wish that sleeping was more comfortable. I can't seem to get comfortable at night, even with the snoodle thing. I really want to lie on my back, but you can't. This was news to me! So, when you see very pregnant ladies on TV or in movies lying on their backs... They're not supposed to! It cuts off a main artery when you're in the second trimester. So, in case you didn't know that - now you do. I didn't, until about 9 weeks ago.

So, that's all I've got right now. I'm trying to make heads and tails of the baby registry thing. It's one of many overwhelming items left on my list of things to get done. For now, I'm not thinking about the birth...

my husband and I agree...

2009-02-06T11:05:00.000-08:00

This is how we feel at the end of Lost.

disconnected?

2008-12-17T20:21:00.001-08:00

Something is causing a disconnect with some people in my life. I don't know what it is. Lately, I have been feeling like that person who always has crap going on in her life, so you avoid her so she doesn't talk to you about it. I knew someone like that once and I called him Sad Guy John. God, I hope I am not becoming one of those people. I just think the has been a rough year. Plus, I'm dealing with a whole new 8-year-old bundle of joy who lives with us, now. I think this must be what it's like to be all those people that keep dropping off the face of the planet the second they have kids. Formerly being a part-time step mom, this feeling of having no life never really surfaced until I started clocking in a full-time position here. I am now: Marla - full time step mom.

It's great spending so much time with Luke, because he's really a cool kid and I love him to pieces. But GOOD LORD he is a lot of delightful work. I take him to school, pick him up from school, do his homework with him, act as room parent in his classroom, participate in Cub Scout Den activities, attend school meetings and somehow try to run a home-based business and get a major fire-loss inventory done in there. It takes a lot of juggling and a lot of sacrifice. I gladly do the Luke stuff, because I enjoy seeing Luke flourish and succeed. I wouldn't do this if I didn't love him.

Every since the fire, people have said to me (and to others) on more than one occasion that they can't believe I haven't left. First of all, after I smack these people upside the head, I ask myself: what kind of deranged person wants a marriage to fail in the midst of crisis? We pulled together as a family. We got some counseling to get through some of the anger, pain and frustration and have really been quite tight since then. Second, what kind of jerk do these people think I am? This horrible accident happened and yes I was upset. But I was careful not to place blame and I certainly never thought of leaving my husband or step son behind. Sure, I wish things had gone differently, but all of us affected by the fire wish that the unchangeable past could be altered.

I am no hero for staying. This is my family. This is where I want to be. Maybe I need to keep telling myself that when I feel so terribly disconnected from what used to be my life. I'm still here. My life just got a lot more wonderfully complicated.

old news, but something I wanted to say

2008-12-15T10:07:00.000-08:00

I am no prude. In fact, I have been known (not recently, but in my teens and early 20s) to have a cigarette from time to time. It's still legal to smoke, so while I don't really like the smell or what it does to surrounding lungs I don't really care if people smoke or not. If that person lives with me or is close working-promximity to me, then I might have something more to say.

It's no secret that the media loves Obama - perhaps rightfully so. However, if ANY OTHER candidate/president-elect were caught with a 20-year smoking habit, especially if that person were of the conservative variety, we would not see such a forgiving public. Scoff is you must, but you know it's true. I see blog after blog and comment after comment saying "oh, who cares if he has a smoke?" You know what? That's crap. Because if the cigarette were at the fingertips of another more conservative hand, we would never hear the end about the evils of smoking. We would not see such a forgiving public.

Hypocrisy aside, I worry what having a president who enjoys even just an occasional smoke, will actually cause smoking to increase in the US. "If the president does it, then..." or "If the president falls off the wagon, then there's no chance for me..." I can actually see the tobacco companies wringing their hands in sinister delight.

I don't usually make my political viewpoints known, but I voted for Obama. In my opinion he was the lesser of two evils. I say that, because I want you to be clear that I am not writing this as part of a post-election grudge. There is nothing wrong with loving Obama (except for you, Obama Girl). But I think it's dangerous to put on your rose-colored glasses and say all is well in fairyland, simply because it's Obama who will take office. I hope that we continue to think it's normal to question our leaders and the impact they have on our country and on the world.

macy's brings little magic to our family

2008-12-14T21:30:00.000-08:00

***As published by the New York Sun in 1897***

Dear Editor—

I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus. Papa says, “If you see it in The Sun, it’s so.” Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O’Hanlon

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the skepticism of a skeptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men’s or children’s, are little. In this great universe of ours, man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies. You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that’s no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby’s rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived could tear apart. Only faith, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives and lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay 10 times 10,000 years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.

My Review of My Responsibility Chart Wall Hanging

2008-11-25T07:37:00.001-08:00

Originally submitted at One Step Ahead

It's fun to learn responsibility with our task-tracker wall hanging — 'cuz kids love adding stars as they work toward their reward! Beautifully embroidered, with stick-on gold stars, chores, and reward tags. 18" x 24", with organizer pouch, pockets, and 78 hook and loop pi...

Great Tool to Reward Good Behavior

By Bean from Bay Area, CA on 11/25/2008

Gift: No

Pros: Good Value, High Quality, Durable

The "My Responsibility" chart has really motivated my son to be proactive about doing his chores and personal hygene. We choose his rewards together. He loves getting a star for doing so well. We had tried other more complicated versions of a responsibility chart, but my husband and I felt it was overwhelming for our autistic son. I also like that he has 5 areas to focus on each week. That makes it easy for him to remember. I think anyone with young children, whom they area trying to teach some independent levels of responsibility to their children would find this chart invaluable. I only wish I had found it earlier.

(legalese)

numb.

2008-11-06T17:57:00.000-08:00

I feel numb.

It seems like no matter what... I feel numb.

Guess I need some counseling.

update for the blog

2008-09-22T09:45:00.000-07:00

I can't even begin to thank you for all of the prayers, all of the love and all of the support we have been receiving. I have never seen such a flood of love and all of us will be touched by it for our entire lives.

Things with the fire resolution are progressing. A forward motion is very welcome. And although the roof work will not begin for another 3 weeks or more, I am starting to recover from the shock. This week I get to continue to go through more of our charred, black, ruined belongings. It did not take long to discover that I don't really care that much about the "stuff." It's just stuff. It's sad to lose my photos and sentimental items, but they are not what's important. And what is, can never be taken from us. Of course, I will always miss Starbuck, but I remain grateful for her companionship, she was truly a wonderful, loving pet.

They say that losing a home is likened to losing a loved one. I can definitely relate to the grieving process. And there are times when I get overwhelmed with the thought of it all, but I try to look at the good that can come out of it. I understand what it means to take some blind steps of faith and just trust that God will take care of us. We have lept off many steep, dark, bleak caverns and we have every reason to believe that, through Christ, we will continue to land on our feet in the light. My family has bonded in a way that I never knew we could and I think that this experience will strengthen us as a unit and as individuals.

I can honestly say that I have little care for the trivial. And I think I have FINALLY learned not to save things for a special occasion. Every day you have your family and loved ones around you is a gift. I have spent so many years saving things for a special moment, only for them to be gone without ever being used. So, no more!

As Paul has said to me - I don't think we'll ever say that fire was a good thing. But God will use it for his glory. I can say that I truly believe all things happen for a reason and that I can choose to dwell on the negative or I can focus on the good that has and will come out of this horrible situation. My family has chosen the later. Of course, that's much easier typed than practiced, but we will live differently forever.

Crossroads is an amazing church. I have never witnessed anything like what they have done for us. We have never felt alone in these weeks after the disaster. As someone who has been attending and leading at Crossroads for over 8 years, I never fully understood the all-encompassing feeling of family and community until this. Maybe that's because I spent so much energy denying help, but accepting it when we desperately needed it turned out to be a humbling, beautiful gift. It's difficult to accept help when you feel you don't deserve it.

Our pastors Paul and Freddy were on the scene of the fire and brought us food and shoes and met our needs in so many practical ways. But on a spiritual level, it was much more than food and shoes. They were the arms of Christ to bring us comfort.

For all of the rest of you who have prayed for us, sent us kind words, checked in on us, brought us food, sent us gift cards, donated clothes, gave us a fully-loaded backpack and donated toys over the past few weeks - you, too, have been the arms of Christ. We do not take your generosity lightly, but with grateful, humble hearts.

things you never want to deal with

2008-08-14T00:33:00.000-07:00

Fire. It's not something that happens to other people. We lost almost everything in a house fire yesterday. This is the room it started in - what was Luke's room. No human was hurt, but a furry member of the family went to kitty heaven. We will miss our baby Starbuck.

praying, thinking and more praying

2008-08-08T22:09:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure of the origin of this blessing, other than is a Franciscan blessing. Craig Groeschel shared it during his speech at the Summit. I attended my 5th Leadership Summit these past 2 days. I have a lot of thinking to do, and this blessing just might be at the core of my reflections:

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world,
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.
Amen.

8-year old forced to eat organic macaroni & cheese

2008-07-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

We just bought a 15 pack of Annie's shells and cheese at Costco. Yes. I am THAT kind of mom. I just cannot stand to give him a chemical lunch. Sorry, Kraft, but that stuff is just nasty. Adding milk and butter does not make it more like real cheese. It is my general rule to outlaw foods whose ingredients I cannot identify nor pronounce. And unfortunately, the stuff you and I probably grew-up on has been outlawed from the Tipton house since last year.

Apparently, the Onion knows me. Check this out.

thanks, Craigslist

2008-07-22T08:42:00.001-07:00

In making room for Luke to come and live with us, my office had to move. My corner desk hogged a lot of the room that is now Luke's bedroom and we felt pretty strongly that he needed to have a space all to himself.

So, thanks to some pretty good sales on craigslist, we were able to convert my office. We moved my office into our bedroom and now I can actually say that I have a sanctuary for a room (yes, even with a home office in there). I love our bedroom. It cost us very little and saved us so much room. Of course, hitting the PB clearance for desperately needed new bedding, helped the transformation. I found that we spend a lot of time in our room, now.

SJP in MY MALL!

2008-07-21T06:46:00.000-07:00

So, like, the coolest thing to happen to Stoneridge Mall in... well, ever... happened this past week. SJP was at Macy's and I missed it! My friend sent me this camera phone photo when it was too late for me to rush over there to catch a glimpse. I am not a star-struck weirdo; I have loved SATC forever and I have been an SJP fan since Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.

As Justin said, "Wow, that would be like me meeting Mark Hamel, but for you!" See? He got it.

shout outs make me smile... SQUEE!

2008-07-15T09:22:00.001-07:00

One of my nearest and dearest gave me a shout-out on her oh-so-clever blog, 8junebugs.com. It makes me happy she likes my work, although I think our 14 year friendship might be clouding her judgment. She loves to
blog/write/edit/give her opinion on anything; so it seemed like a gift that would keep on giving.

so totally disappointed

2008-07-14T11:36:00.001-07:00

You may remember that I have been training since the end of February to walk in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer marathon. It was this weekend... And I couldn't walk! A few days before the walk I realized that my feet weren't just hurting from all the training walks, but that something was terribly wrong when I found it difficult to put my weight on my left foot. I went to a podiatrist who was the bearer of bad news - planter faciitis and tendonitis. Even though I was cast as the lame gimpy teammate, I was determined to at least get all of my donations in and support my wonderful team. I joined them on Friday and returned home on Saturday - feeling a pretty upset about the whole thing, but realizng that wincing with each step is not a good thing.

Mitiz's Mammories did the full 39 miles! I am so proud of them. Together, we raised almost $20,000 - which is amazing.

Mitzi's Mammories (from left) are: Donna, Roger, Me, Emily, Melissa, Kim, Karen, Becci & Paul.

a comeback that makes me wince

2008-07-02T17:38:00.000-07:00

My first love was Joey McIntyre of NKOTB. I made Tommy go through a sea of chicks (which landed him a date, by the way) to get me tickets to their concert. I'll have you know I was one hot 6th grader sporting an LA Gear white denim skirt, the matching half jacket and a side pony. Oh I rocked the 80s, baby. I had older sisters to help me with the trends.

I finally got around to checking out Summertime on YouTube. There's a part of me that wished I left it at the small segment I saw on Best Week Ever, now. My childhood feels a little shattered. There's something about seeing Donnie, Joey, Jordan, Jon and Danny get overtly sexual that just doesn't work for me. They all looked a tad lecherous, as we know they are fathers, married, 35 and older skanking it up with 18-20ish women in the video. Seeing Joey stroke the arm of bikini-clad squirmer and singing about feeling her "soaking wet" body made my nose crinkle all on its own. It just doesn't work. It's not sexy, at all. Just weird.

And what is with Donnie over-describing clothing? "Flip-flops, half shirts, short shorts, miniskirt, strapless sundress..." Besides lame songwriting, what is that all about? It sounds like he's a few potatoes short of clothing stew. In general, I am not a Wahlberg family fan - ever since Marky Mark glared at me the day before my wedding because I dared to look at him I just can't seem to like either of them. They look a lot alike and this grudge runs deep. So there.

I WILL say that Joey is still the cutest. That means all you Joey-lovers from '88, like me, have great taste. They are still hiding Danny in the videos... Poor guy! Check out the video, if you're tough enough... (Oh oh oh oh oh OH!)

a late review

2008-06-25T01:20:00.000-07:00

Often when Justin is away, I have a ridiculously hard time going to sleep. I use that time to catch up on a chick flick or my reading or maybe a little Super Mario Galaxy on the Wii. But tonight I decided to rent P.S. I Love You from the good folks at Comcast On Demand. I heard that I would need a hankie for this flick, but I had no idea...

I am not going to give you any spoilers, if you haven't already seen it (it was in the theaters in, like, February). All I'm going to say is that if you believe in true love so deep that it transcends life, death and beyond, rent this movie. It was worth every wadded-up tissue on my bedroom floor. The soundtrack is worth a gander as well.

It's nice to see Harry Connik Jr. return to a role similar to the one I loved from Hope Floats. Yes, gentlemen, you may roll your eyes at my mention of that flick, but I don't know a girl who didn't at the very LEAST like it. Give it a go, my romantic saps. If you have already seen it - let me know your thoughts.

the last time I had a moment...

2008-06-23T12:20:00.000-07:00

I cannot remember when it was that I had a moment of free time to think, let along blog. My life has been like this picture: trying balance between God, family, ministry, friends, work and traiing for a very long walk. But the thing is... More than just the average "I've been busy" there have been a LOT of HUGE changes that have taken place in the 31 days since I last had a chance to do a post.

Luke's annual summer visit has come and will end tomorrow. The past month has been filled with camping trips, a Yosemite trip, a visit to NV to see Justin's parents and Kung Fu Panda. We jammmed the month full of activitites, because usually it's one of the few weeks a year we get to see Luke. However, all of that is about to change...

Big news first: Luke is coming to live with us. Starting in early August, I will no longer be a part-time stepmon, but a full-fledged full-time stepmom. This is a HUGE change in all of our lives. I will try to keep you posted of all the stuff happening as I can, but for now... Pray for us.

I am confident this is a good move for all of us, but it doesn't change the amount of adjustments that will have to be made. I am more than willing to change everything for my stepson and for my husband, but it doesn't mean that it's always easy.

Sad news next: My dad's cancer has returned for a third time. This time it's a bit more complicated, but it seems like he always fights through it and comes out on top.

Bothersome news last: my work has been steadily declining and I have to make some major adjustments to get it running as well as it was in October of last year. It has been quite a challenge to work at home, work for my mom and work while Luke is at home.

It also seems like the lives of our nearest and dearest continue to take change en masse. The wave of babies continues into the wave of second children, sadly some marriages have come to an end, some dear friends' parents have become teribly ill and we harldy see anyone anymore. I have to keep up on people through Facebook and blogs. I make the ocasional call last as long as possible. It's weird. I feel like more than just our life is changing. There has been a shift and I'm starting to feel a pull to one side... This all sounds very cryptic, but it's not. I am just realizing that very few things are a constant - just Christ.

(not-so) random thoughts

2008-05-23T09:40:00.000-07:00

I think when people say you can never know the true nature of God, they are right. That is something we will not know until we have taken our last breath. I think our simple minds are no match for the complexity of our perfect God. However, there is a good way to see God's nature at work and how he has plans for all of us - you can find it all in the Bible.

"For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10

I think I run into the problem of making God fit into my own worldly plans. Recently, I have learned from Paul (the disciple/apostle, not my pastor) that we should all live as though we are citizens of heaven. If you really, truly think about that... It changes everything.

you know who you are!

2008-05-15T23:12:00.000-07:00

You little black cars bearing the mark of Obama 08: STOP CUTTING ME OFF ON THE FREEWAY.

It's getting past annoying, already.

john and edward: long lost brothers?

2008-04-08T13:09:00.000-07:00

I am a huge fan of both John Mayer and Johnny Depp, but this is a little weird.

In other news, John Mayer is back on tour! The only question is if I'm going to buy tickets to the awful Shoreline Arm-pit-theatre, again. That place sucks unless you're in the first section.

quote of the day

2008-03-14T16:34:00.000-07:00

"Who you are speaks so loudly I can't hear what you're saying."
RALPH WALDO EMERSON

wondercon 2008: a stench hotel soap isn't strong enough for

2008-03-04T08:10:00.000-08:00

A few months ago J suggested that we attend a local comic book convention. Grand, hilarious scenes from Chasing Amy danced through my head as I agreed. I actually got excited about the prospect of going. I knew there would be a Browncoats booth in the Exhibit Hall; and I am a really big Firefly/Serenity fan. What was in store for me at Wondercon 2008 was a whole other world.

When people talk about comic book conventions (to the general public not educated about what happens when too many intense, super-nerds congregate together) they fail to mention some key elements a person like me might want to know before she buys her weekend pass:

5. When asked, do not try to help a regular attendee find anything.
Brand new to the event and seated at table, I was minding my own business - trying to make sense of the program book. A very Miton-ish guy (from Office Space) sat down, frowned at our programs, set down his wheeled milk carton stack and asked to borrow the program from some other person seated near us. He then proceeded to ask us about who was signing autographs. New to the scene but trying to be helpful, I gave him the page number where it listed the people and bios. He shouts at me that he KNEW where that was, but that the list wasn't detailed enough or that the people he was looking for were not in the program. That almost earned him a double-snap response, but being completely outnumbered by people just like him, I just looked down and kept my mouth shut. I was not going to endure another undeserved tongue-lashing. Frustrated that none of us had the right answer he left , but not before asking J where the bodice booth was located.

4. Try not to stare at the badly, scantily clad.
Some of the costumes were great, better than great - awesome, even. But SOME people needed to cover-up and stay that way. You know the saying "less is more?" Not necessarily. The Browncoats booth had a contest for a photo bingo. One of the squares was for "unfortunate fishnets." 'Nuff said.

3. Don't bother with the masquerade.
It sounded awesome. A costume masquerade? Very cool. Of the 35ish costumes (most, not all, of which were accompanied by horrific dances, skits or dramatizations) I only really understood about 5 of them. The rest I didn't get and I was jaw-droppingly shocked by what some people were willing to wear on a stage in front of people…er...super nerds. If I were to ever subject myself to this event, again, I would skip the masquerade and head straight to the Thirsty Bear for the evening. Besides, you get a better view (albeit sometimes better than you want) of the costumes on the exhibit hall floor.

2. People take this seriously. VERY SERIOUSLY. Do NOT assume people are joking... like, ever.
On many occasions I tried to talk to people at the booths and they would say something that sounded a little crazy-nerd to me and I would laugh - assuming they were joking. They were not. "Oh, so you really WOULD sell your soul for that rare Punisher edition? OK, then..."

1. Do not forget your own body wash.
We stayed at a hotel near the Moscone Center. I forgot my Philosophy Amazing Grace body wash. It smells wonderful. Hotel soap? Not so much. One thing I did NOT expect was the stench of the convention. I am extremely sensitive to smell and this totally turned my stomach. The whole exhibit hall reeked like a dirty teenage boy's bedroom. I can only describe the smell as unwashed bodies and hair mixed with the kind of body odor that could have only been a result of sweaty asses from all the pleather outfits. As people entered and exited the hall, I could almost see waves of this putridness waft through the doors. Worse yet is that the smell stayed with me. BART train cars are a breath of fresh air compared to the convention's exhibit hall.

There were highlights. I certainly enjoyed Steve Carell, Anne Hathaway, the WALL-E sneak peaks and all of the coming-soon movie trailers. The droid-making panel went right over my head (I know, shocking!), but I enjoyed watching the R2D2s roll around and scream afterwards. I did find some really impressive artwork. I especially enjoyed the Loter booth. And as much as I complained about some of the costumes above, there were a number of outstanding costumes (like the ones I have posted).

The big question: will I go to Wondercon 2009? Magic 8 Ball says: My sources say no.

do something, please

2008-02-18T11:00:00.000-08:00

If you haven't heard about it, I would check out World Vision's Step Into Africa Experience. As you may or may not know, God has put a passion on my heart to do something about extreme poverty and the devastation lying in the wake of the HIV/AIDS pandemic. This month, Justin and I were supposed to go to volunteer with a school for orphans called ROHI in Narukru, Kenya. We did not get our applications completed in time and the trip has been postponed. We feel that God didn't want us there during all of the political unrest going on right now, but are still aiming to go (this year or early next year).

The Step into Africa exhibit is a life-changing experience. You see life in Africa through the eyes of one of four children. There are 15 MILLION orphans (from HIV/AIDS) in Sub-Saraharan Africa today. That number is expected to be 20 MILLION in 2010 and 50 MILLION by 2020. Currently, 1 person is dying every 3 SECONDS from AIDS. An entire generation of parents, chilren, head of households, providers and the main work force is being wiped-out - causing catastrophic emotional and economic repercussions. The number of households led by children is rising every day. I refuse to do nothing. I don't know what kind of story or what kind of number would affect people to DO SOMETHING. But I do know that LESS THAN 3 PERCENT of American Christians have been moved into action. Less than 3%...

I am not putting out this post to give you a sense of the staggering numbers, because if you just look at that, you're going to be overwhelmed. If you feel moved by ANY of this information, I encourage you to check our programs that sponsor children living in these areas. You can make a difference in one life. Check out World Vision or Compassion International.

"You make a living by what you get...But you make a life by what you give."
- Winston Churchill

cutest baby.

2008-02-15T10:37:00.001-08:00

ON EARTH. That's my niece, ladies and gents. The outfit is courtesy of her adoring auntie. I can't get enough of her!

a lot of walking, but for a good cause.

2008-02-13T12:49:00.001-08:00

Some of you may not know that I lost my Aunt Mitzi to breast cancer in 2005. Breast cancer kills approximately one woman every 14 minutes, robbing us of our mothers and grandmothers, our sisters and aunts, cousins and best friends. No one knows what causes breast cancer or how it can be prevented. There is no cure... Yet.

I just won’t accept that there’s nothing I can do. And, since cancer has unfortunately touched my family in several ways, I feel even more compelled to do something, anything, to bring us one step closer to finding a cure and ending the suffering. I have joined Mitzi’s Mammories, the team that honors the memory of my Aunt Mitzi. We will be walking along with many others in the San Francisco area on July 12-13 to walk 26.2 miles in the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer.

As part of this commitment, I have agreed to raise at least $1,800 for the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade. I am asking for your support. Any and all donations will help us get closer! Since 1992, the Avon Foundation Breast Cancer Crusade has returned more than $250 million for the cause. That money is distributed to five critical areas: medical research, clinical care, support services, education and early detection programs.

If you would like to make a donation, you can email me or you can click Avon logo under my photo on the right.

a weird movie. no, a great movie. STET

2008-02-03T11:34:00.000-08:00

I was perched in the corner of my couch; a blanket snuggled around me; sweatshirt hood in place; chick flick in the DVD player; warm scone and coffee nearby; a husband willing to brave said movie in exchange for some Bazooka Joe nonsensical man-movie - all in all, the makings of a perfect Sunday morning. The one hitch? The movie was Suburban Girl.

This movie was meant to be an amusing tryst between a neophyte (Netflix's word, I would have used novice) editor (Sarah Michelle Gellar) and the much older and more accomplished editor-in-chief of some publishing company (Alec Baldwin). Admittedly, the dialog was entertaining. However, the plot (or lack thereof) throughout the protagonist's plight was dull. Completely void of a sense of anticipation, accomplishment... A point. The worst part? I couldn't understand most of the references.

During the movie I said to J, "This is something Jen would totally get." He agreed and added that if she ever had some affair with an older man, in an alternate universe where she pursued her career as a book editor in New York, that this could be a movie about her. "Right," I said "except in her version the main character would be far more punchy and snarky." He agreed.

However, this has prompted Justin and I to start our own little book club. We are certainly an UN-read couple. The classics are lost on us - save for some standard English 101 reads: The Sun Also Rises, Catcher in the Rye, The Rainbow and various works of Shakespeare. And while I've read some, I can't remember anything about them - not enough to catch vague or even obvious references to something in the text. I want to be able to pick up Suburban Girl in a few years and actually understand the references. Maybe then I wouldn't walk away from the movie, dictionary in hand, still feeling under-educated and stupid.

Any suggestions for which classic we should start with? C'mon, Jen. You have a few suggestions, you know you’re dying to tell us where to start.

cool bear story

2008-01-31T15:05:00.000-08:00

There is a bridge is on the Old Donner Pass Highway. It has spectacular views of Donner Lake and Donner Pass on Route 80.

A bear was walking across Rainbow Bridge (Old Hwy 40 at Donner Summit, (Truckee) on Saturday when two cars also crossing the bridge scared the bear into jumping over the edge of the bridge. Somehow the bear caught the ledge and was able to pull itself to safety. Authorities decided that nothing could be done to help Saturday night so they returned Sunday morning to find the bear sound asleep on the ledge.

After securing a net under the bridge the bear was tranquilized, fell into the net, lowered, then woke up and walked out of the net.

There is a moral to this story you know; this old bear made a wrong move and found he was hanging by his nails. Somehow he was able to pull himself up onto the ledge where he saw he was in a very bad, impossible situation and what did he do? Yep, he took a nap and sure enough the situation took care of itself while he was asleep. The moral is that when confronted with a bad situation sometimes the best solution is to sleep on it.

Thanks, Joleen!

candles and kitties

2008-01-08T13:30:00.000-08:00

Not a good mix.

i think i needed to see this today...

2008-01-04T10:27:00.000-08:00

A POEM ABOUT OUR GIRLFRIENDS
Someone will always be prettier.
Someone will always be smarter.
Some of their houses will be bigger.
Some will drive a better car.
Their children will do better in school and their husband will fix more things around the house.
So let it go, and love you and your circumstances.
Think about it!
The prettiest woman in the world can have hell in her heart.
The most highly favored woman on your job may be unable to have children.
The richest woman you know, she has the car, the house, the clothes~~~ might be lonely.
As the word says, "If I have not Love, I am nothing."
So, again, love you.
Love who you are.
Look in the mirror in the morning, smile, and say, "I am too Blessed to be Stressed and too Anointed, to be Disappointed!"
"Winners make things happen~~~ Losers let things happen."

(Thanks, Jolleen.)

the day after and baby fever

2007-12-26T16:32:00.000-08:00

Merry Day After Christmas, Everyone. DEEP BREATH. It's over. I can breathe, again. Sometimes the holidays feel like this mad dash to fit as much stuff in at one time as possible. Since December 1, one or both of us have gone to 3 company Christmas parties, 1 church Christmas Banquet, 2 vendor cocktail parties, 3 family Christmas parties, 1 two-day work-related planning retreat, 1 three-day trip to Nevada to visit the in-laws, endless trips to stores for that last thing we forgot about and have completed 5 of 6 gift exchanges. Is it me or is that just too much? It is, isn't it? At least I'm not going crazy or taking it out on some poor, unfortunate person who happened to misdial (eh-hem, Ricky!).

While the holidays come to a close and things start to slow-down, the one thing that doesn't are the amount of pregnant people and babies around us. Holy cow. There was this season in my life where everyone seemed to be getting married, but last year I turned that corner and have been firmly rooted in a season where everyone seems to either be pregnant or just had a baby. There was a time when I knew 12 people in my immediate circle who were pregnant. And I don't hang out with that many people!

I'm down to 3 pregnant friends, right now, but they are 3 of my closest friends, so it still feels like the world is pregnant. Next month will mark the third baby shower I have thrown in a little over a year. I am damn-near a pro at it by now. I could probably make a career out of it. I think it will be my back-up plan. I'll be a professional Baby Shower Event Planner. My business card will be a baby bootie and my office will have storks everywhere. I can make my own sassy onesies that sell for $30. You will all think I'm nuts, but don't you worry about me. I'll be in high demand like a single, white nanny in Manhattan or Beverly Hills.

In all seriousness, with everyone around us having babies, it's slightly more difficult to be 30, married for almost 4 years and not have children of our own. We have Luke and when he's visiting people don't ask me about it as much, but as soon as he gets back on that plane the questions flow. "Question" is a generous term; "inquisition" is more like it: Do you have children? No? Why not? How long have you been married? You're 30? What are you waiting for? You should have children before you're 30, to reduce your risk of breast cancer. You do know that the longer you wait, the harder it is to get pregnant, right? Have you tried getting an ovulation test? What positions are you using?

I have heard it all. My mother LOVES to talk to EVERYONE about it. If you run into her, I'm sure she'll bring it up. She told everyone at a Christmas Party earlier this month that Justin and I should head home to make her grandbabies. TRUE STORY. I wouldn't make that up.

To satisfy your curiosity: yes, we want to have children. It just hasn't happened for us, yet.

apparently HGTV knows me better than I do...

2007-12-22T01:52:00.001-08:00

Merry merry. Life is crazy right now, but at least my style hasn't changed.

We're right on top of Christmas, again and 'tis the season to drop off the face of the Earth. I think about blogging stuff all the time, but if I have to decided between clean underwear and deadlines that get met - I choose not to blog.

Every year when Christmas rolls around, I put on this huge bravado to keep my focus on the birth of our Lord, but what exactly does this holiday do to protect that event? Other than carols or manger scenes the Christ in Christmas seems hard to find. I would like to know where Christmas got out of hand. Why is it all about buying, buying and more buying? The older I get, the less I understand. I just can't seem to get the connection between what Christmas originally meant and what it has turned into.

Would I rather get yet another bath set, candle set or picture frame or would I rather that money went to someone who really needed it? OK, let's make that a less obvious answer. Would I rather have another handbag, a Tiffany necklace, a new pair of shoes or would I rather see a hungry family get a goat that will give them milk and cheese for years to come? Believe it or not, I would rather take a pass on the gifts. I feel almost gluttonous in our ongoing accumulation of stuff. And while I am grateful for the many blessings that make it possible to enjoy so much, I think about myself too much. I am praying for a selfless heart.

wish you were here

2007-11-21T15:57:00.001-08:00

Ok, I really wish I was there. If you were there, too, that would be a bonus.

I have a pretty clear view of 580 East-bound traffic right now and all I can say is... THANK GOD we're staying local this Thanksgiving. I will be making Jesse's Yams and my semi-famous pumpkin pies tonight. The house will smell delicious.

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

gobble this down

2007-11-19T18:21:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving is a holiday full of family, friends and feasting. In our household, it is also a time for something we are truly thankful for - Jesse's Yams. Thanks to Rick Springfield and his unrequited love for his best friend's girlfriend, we also have a little chorus that rings in this gay mixture of candied wonderfulness. For marshmallow-free yams this Thanksgiving, try this delicious alternative:

You will need...
2 medium cans of yams
5-6 Granny Smith apples
1/2 - 1 c. raisins
1/2 – 1 c. coarsely chopped walnuts
1 c. granulated sugar
1 c. dark brown sugar
1/2 c. butter (2 sticks)
3/4 tsp. salt
1 tbsp. cinnamon
4 tbsp. cornstarch (dissolved in 1 c. water)

Directions
Preheat oven to 325. Place yams, apples, walnuts and raisins in a lightly greased 3 1/2-quart baking dish. In a saucepan stir granulated sugar, brown sugar, cornstarch mixture, salt and cinnamon until smooth. Add butter and stir over medium heat, bring to a boil, and simmer for 2 minutes or until thickened. Pour over the yam/apple/raisin, walnut mixture and bake fo 2 hours. YUMMY!

Of course, I have to give a shout-out to our dear friend who passed this recipe on to us 5 years ago. Thanks, man. Your name will forever be etched in our hearts - and my recipe box.

back from maui

2007-11-16T15:30:00.000-08:00

It was a rough week in Maui. Those gorgeous sunsets, mai tais, Hawaiian food, luaus, beaches and shave ice were hard to take. I mean, it was like pure torture. Absolutely awful.

(At least, that's what I'm trying to tell myself, now that it's over.)

a leaf on the wind

2007-11-07T16:17:00.000-08:00

***POSSIBLE SPOILER WARNING***
I love Alan Tudyk. His portrayal of Wash in Firefly may have been one of the main reasons I kept coming back for more. His comedic timing, his expressions... BRILLIANT. To my utmost horror, they ended the winsome pilot's life after an incredible effort to land the failing Serenity while dodging debris and enemy ships. He kept repeating, "I am a leaf on the wind" as he wove his way through the mess, ultimately landing the ship. The crew had no sooner counted their limbs and kissed the floor because Wash had gotten them through the whole ordeal alive, when he repeated his song "I am a leaf on the wi--"

BAAAM! His last words were interrupted by a harpoon right through the chest. As if the wind had been knocked out of me, I stared at the screen in disbelief for many minutes. I figured this must be the very sad end of Firefly, because I wasn't sure how their world could exist without him.

Recently Tudyk appeared back on the radar as a character in another movie. This character reminded me of the light-hearted Wash. Same timing. Same expressions. Of course, I was hooked. Everything about how I was drawn in reminded me of Firefly. We, the audience, grew to love him, trust him and depend on him. And OUT OF FRIGGIN' NOWHERE... BAAAAM! They kill him off. I swear he muttered, "I am a leaf on the wind."

Apparently, any time I run into a loveable Tudyk character on the silver screen, I should just prepare myself for his imminent death. Lame.

can you guess what these are?

2007-10-31T09:08:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloweeen!

(Yes, it's BOO-BEES.)

the growth

2007-10-19T19:38:00.001-07:00

Extreme poverty. The A.I.D.S. pandemic. The war in Iraq. Bratz: the movie. These are all things I should be worried about. The ginormous zit on my face? Not so much. However, destroying it and sheilding people from it's unsightliness has been my main goal for 2 whole days.

What's the deal with being 30 and getting a mammoth-sized growth on my face? I mean, isn't this supposed to be over? I don't know if I've ever had one this large before. It's embarassing. I feel like everyone is looking at it. I think people might be on the verge of calling me "Pimple" or "Pop It" or something like that. I guess I won't worry too much until my Starbucks comes back to me with "Zitty Zit" written on it.

Sigh.

it's so important to me...

2007-09-11T10:33:00.001-07:00

...that we never, ever forget.

i don't match today

2007-08-30T11:17:00.000-07:00

Despite my best efforts to keep my sanity, I continue to involve myself in multiple positions that keep my peace of mind just beyond reach. This morning I woke up at 8:00 AM and was late for job no. 2, because I didn't get home from job no. 3 until 9:30 last night and that meant I was out at dinner until almost 11:00 PM. I worked on job no. 1 this morning before officially getting ready. There were emails to answer, deadlines to confirm and touch-ups to be done. When 30 minutes had passed, I jumped from my chair, ran down the hall and hopped into the shower. I allowed myself the luxury of an extra 30 seconds under the showerhead just so I could gather my thoughts for the coming day’s tasks. While drying my hair, I got the sneaking suspicion that I forgot to rinse the conditioner out. It felt limp and listless. Oh well, it was too late to re-wash. I would just have to deal with flat, ugly hair.

I couldn't find a clip or anything to hold back my life-less, stringy bangs and so they got tucked behind my ear where they will fight a battle to stay in place all day long. A glance at my reflection revealed it was impossible to try and let my face go au-natural – the dark circles have started to take over eyes. Mindlessly trying to cover-up the evidence of my fatigue, I began planning today's outfit. One came to mind, so I headed out of the bathroom to search-out said articles of clothing of which I only found half of. While trying to find a matching pair of brown sandals I decided that they were either stolen or walked away on their own right out of my highly-organized closet. Then I spotted a pile of Justin's jeans and pants that were more tossed onto a shelf than folded and chose to straighten those out before continuing my fruitless search for said brown sandals. Half-dressed, I wandered out of the closet and into my bathroom, because (of course) I forgot to put deodorant on. A quick look in the mirror revealed just ONE perfectly defined eyebrow where there should have been two. Great! I forgot to finish my make-up!

While brushing some blush across my cheekbones to "finish" an already useless effort to look presentable, I was overcome with thirst. Being that I was already extremely late I decided it wouldn't hurt to grab a glass of water. On the way to the kitchen I heard the whirrrrp of a new email and went into the office instead. There, I found a way to waste 15 precious minutes. When I realized how much time has passed, I rushed out of the office, hurdled our two cats in the hall and raced back to the closet to find some sort of shirt to go with my skirt. This whole endeavor lead to an endless internal argument about whether or not spaghetti strap tank tops were appropriate in an office environment - which, of course, they are not. I could not find a sleeved shirt to match my skirt and I knew that if I had to start with another skirt the whole process would take even longer. At least all of this agonizing helped me realize that my brown sandals actually broke a few weeks ago and I threw them out. Relieved, I put on the closest sandals to my feet. With my left hand over my eyes, I grabbed the first sweater I could find and walked out of the room in search of my cell phone, glasses, handbag and keys. Once in my car, I realized that I had to pee and I actually told myself that I didn't have time for that. Who does that?

So here I am at job no. 2. My hair looks like I haven't washed it in days. My bangs have officially lost their battle to stay behind my ear. I'm still thirsty. There are about 15 unanswered emails, and counting, in job no. 1's Inbox. I’m pretty sure I left all of the house lights on. I am wearing a turquoise and cream skirt, brown spaghetti-strap tank, a blue zipper hoodie and GOLD sandals. It is 100 degrees outside and I'm wearing a hoodie! I still have to pee and I only have one eyebrow. This is not a proud moment for me.

Just call me McLovin

2007-08-19T09:56:00.000-07:00

Seriously one of the funniest movies I've seen in a long time - and NOT like Napoleon Dynamite (for those that love that movie: I STILL don't get it). It reminds me of American Graffiti meets American Pie meets Seth Rogan's funniest moments.

In other news... I have no updates.

add to today's list: drive a designer insane

2007-08-13T20:35:00.000-07:00

I seriously almost peed my pants reading THIS posting. The only thing I think the author forgot:

No. 9: Change Everything AFTER Final Approval
After you have already approved your proof, make sure to find a way to rearrange the whole project. This will cost you more, but it will certainly shorten the life of said bloodthirsty graphic designer and it will be worth the investment. Call your designer, preferably when he or she is sleeping or on vacation, and frantically demand more changes, even after your artwork has been submitted to printers and publications. When the designer starts to mumble some non-sense about "an approval processes" - ignore them. This is a common tactic they use to lure you into their evil ways. Instead, blame your graphic designer for all of the items that he or she should have instinctively known you would change, even after you approved the final piece. When in doubt, always point the finger back to your designer. After all, they know nothing but how to contemplate taking over the world.

I can't not

2007-08-12T17:22:00.000-07:00

Just a little heads-up, dear readers. Justin and I have applications to be volunteers with Rohi. This program is sponsored by Cornerstone Fellowship in Livermore.

If all goes well, we will go with a group of volunteers to Nakuru, Kenya in February 2008. I did not choose Africa as my passion - it was chosen for me. It all started with Hotel Rwanda almost two years ago. That movie startled me and made me take a closer look at what goes on outside of our borders. In all honesty, I had not thought about what was going on in Africa since I was in high school, or possibly before that. Somehow, I let myself believe that AIDS was being taken care of and that the infection rate was not growing. The truth is so much worse that the opposite of what I thought. Not only is AIDS spreading, it's helping get rid of an entire population and generations are dying-off in unbelievable numbers. With the tragedy of genocide in places like Rwanda, comes a wake of rapidly-spreading AIDS through rape and pillaging. The same thing is happening in Darfur, right now - literally as you read this.

Aside from an economic destruction, this is also leaving behind millions of orphans. Children and adults are STARVING to death in a world of plenty. Some choose to sell themselves for food - likely getting themselves infected with HIV or AIDS. The cycle is seemingly unending. I have a book that starts out with a picture of an elderly woman in her 70s raising 11 of her grandchildren. She pleads for the author to pray for her - "Pray that I live long enough to take care of all of these children." She had lost all of her children to AIDS and was left to raise their children.

I cannot sit back, watch and do nothing. My heart breaks for this kind of devastation. I know that I am one person and one person makes a very little difference on his or her own, but I will not be idle when I can do something. I am tired of living a spoiled, privileged life where waste is more common than want. Please pray for our application process and our acceptance into the Rohi program.

"Harold Rosas, rest in the arms of your Maker."

2007-07-31T10:06:00.000-07:00

The Violent Burning has that as their MySpace quote. I found it after I received the news that Harold (who self-proclaimed one of his nicknames to be The Gopher) had passed away on July 27.

While Harold and I were never best-buds or really on a "I'll call you tomorrow" friends basis, I sincerely liked and admired him. I, like many others, was awe-struck by his tenacious spirit of boldness. The number of lives he touched by his evangelism surely gained him the loving words "well done, good and faithful servant" upon his entrance into heaven.

Harold is probably best known in the local Christian music scene. He was known for his knowledge of un-cheesy Christian music. While I didn't hold the same interest in music as he did, I always admired his passion. Plus, he was just so cool to talk to. His knowledge of scripture went deeper than most people in my circle. And he followed God’s calling to a Christ-filled life - outside of the Christian Bubble. He was in the thick of it – trying to save people that might be considered un-savable.

The last time I saw him was at Jackson and Janelle's potluck. He was working at Starbucks and informed me of the dreaded Maple Oat Scone nutrition facts - which prompted one of my more popular postings: Marla's Random Beans: maple topping could never be good for you

I don't know what to say about his passing that won't seem trite (to use Jackson's words). The news is still shocking and surreal. It will never cease to amaze me how God takes people home. Surely Harold's work here was done - and he was ONE BUSY SERVANT. In his lifetime of around 43 years (I am not sure of his age, he never looked nor acted it), Harold did more with his faith than a lot of much older and mature Christians. His wisdom and actions will live on in the many lives of those he touched.

sometimes i feel like this...

2007-07-05T17:21:00.000-07:00

Study: 100 Percent Of Americans Lead Secret Lives

BERKELEY, CA—A study released Monday by the University of California-Berkeley shows that 100 percent of Americans fail to disclose the full truth about what they think and do in private.

... okay, but not in the weird way that this article implies. Mostly by the life I lead in the summers and how much it is unlike my life during the rest of the year. I try to squeeze so much onto my many plates that I fear I might collapse. I have to learn to take things as they come and realize that some stuff is going to fall and splatter onto the floor. And sometimes it's cherry juice on white grout - impossible to clean.

Hope you're all doing well! I will post again, sometime, really, I will.

NINE pieces of eight...

2007-06-05T09:34:00.000-07:00

And it only gets more confusing from there. Pieces of eight are a kind of Spanish coin, but in the context of Pirates of the Caribbean 3, I think it would make more sense for them to be looking for the ninth piece of something of which there are only eight. I mean, if Jack Sparrow can come back from the dead after battling a ship full of himself, then why can't they be in need of something impossible to obtain?

Here are some highlights for you: Jack Sparrow is crazier (and not in a good way), Will Turner is whimpier, Kiera Nightly (I forgot her stupid character's name) is more annoying and indecisive than ever, but somehow becomes the Pirate King. There are more of those pirates with the stuff that grows out of their face (yuck). And of course there are more people turning from the British Royal Navy to be a pirate.

I kind of wanted Horatio Hornblower to show up and kick some pirate booty (pun intended). Oooh! I think I have a plot for Pirates of the Caribbean 4. It will be called "New World's Bounty, The True Story of Capt. Hornblower's Commander." Ioan Gruffudd as Horatio Hornblower, Russel Crowe as Capt. Jack Aubrey (Master and Commander) and Mel Gibsom as Fletcher Chritian (The Bounty) will star as the dynamic trio that take back control of the seas. In their quest they sober-up Jack Sparrow and get him to join them in making all of the pirates turn from their evil ways - luring them in with casks and casks of rum. What won't a pirate do for Ye Olde Rum? If that doesn't sound interesting to you, you shouldn't bother with Pirates 3, either. It makes far less sense. Believe me.

It's a horrible movie. Period. For THE BEST RECAP EVER - visit my man, the ninja.

do you know how I know you're gay?

2007-06-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

Because you eat madeleines at baseball games.

starbuck

2007-05-23T13:13:00.001-07:00

Our newest addition to the family is here. You can ooh and awww all you want - she is adorable.

the non post

2007-05-06T08:44:00.000-07:00

No photos. No stories. No junk. And definitely no American Idol posts. I have been overwhelmingly busy and dreading Friday -- the day that ends my twenties. They were half good to me, so I guess I should only partially mourn the decade of a million memories, a million mistakes, a million and one good decisions and one amazing man who makes me insanely happy. Overall... I should be ready to take on the new number to my age and enter into it with fearless abandon. Perhaps I will, but I still think this calls for new shoes.

Look out world -- I'm thirty.
(It just doesn't sound right.)

dear Paula:

2007-03-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

I like Blake. You like Blake. Let's call a spade a spade, though. This week, he was not original -- yet you praised him for his originality and for making the show "cool." You do realize that most of his performances are very-circa-1980's, right? You probably don't remember the 80's very well, because it was during the height of your career and all, but it may surprise you to know that the whole synth-rendition of songs is not actually a new thing. Beat-boxing and break-dancing are also from the era that our dear Blake seems to champion. Last night, he sang Love Song without any real variation to the original Cure version nor the 311 version. There was nothing "Blake" about it and there was a lot of Robert Smith in it. Am I the only one to notice that this is the second 311 song he has covered from their Greatest Hits album? I just am so befuddled by Blake being original in your eyes, when others are not. (I am also a little afraid that Blake might think that 311 is the original artist, given that he was 6 or 7 when The Cure debuted this song on the Disintegration album.)

In fact, other than a select few performances, everyone sings their songs almost exactly like the original. I fail to see where this imaginary line that one might cross over is located. Most of the time when Idols do their own rendition of song - you, the judges, hate it. You tell the contestants to take risks and be original, yet crucify them for doing just that -- with the exception of Chris Daughtry's Johnny Cash song last year.

You tell people to branch out of their comfort zone and then tell Gina she's not being true to herself when she does. However, when LaKisha and Melinda continue to pick predictable songs from artists that are completely in their comfort zones - you praise them. Lakisha was entirely boring last night -- sure, she has an amazing voice, but only with the same exact kind of songs. I mean they BOTH chose Shirely Bassey songs the week of British Invasion, which could only be considered loosely related to that genera. (My good friend Jackson was right, Lakisha is starting to annoy me. Her best performance, so far, has been her first.)

What a hoax your judging has been! Do you guys even listen to yourselves? Half the time you just mimic what the guest-performer has to say or what Randy just said. The other half of the time, you are all over the place either physically or figuratively. I suggest that you, the judges, start to take your own advice and start being original, yourselves. Consistent would be an improvement, too. I'm as bored with your comments as I am with Simon's t-shirts. I mean, seriously, why doesn't he dress-up a little?

brown paper packages tied-up with string

2007-03-25T13:48:00.000-07:00

Lately some of my favorite things to buy for my business are from See Jane Work. Jen mentioned them in her MySpace blog a while ago and I fell for their hilarious, yet stylish organizational items, labels, cards and folders. I can't wait for my CD Labels and envelopes to get here!

In January I discovered another store: Knock Knock. They kill me. I originally found some stickies titled "Complaint" and "Great Job On" for funny little notes to J. or my vendors. I just toured their site and litterly fell out of my seat laughing at some of their brilliant note pads, like this Cell Citation:

If you're going to take a Knock Knock tour, be sure not to miss out on the New Parent Checklist and the Parking Citation.

Stephanie gets voted off, but Phil and Sanjaya stay?

2007-03-22T01:05:00.000-07:00

I love American Idol. I admit it. I am not ashamed. There are worse things in life. It's my thing - leave me alone.

I just don't get it, America. I really don't. Why vote off Stephanie Edwards and keep Sanjaya and Phil Stacey? The reason these two remain in the finals is because they make for good TV. (I added Chris Richardson above, because his boy-band style REALLY bugs me.) Phil has a good story with his military background and Sanjaya is... Well, he auditioned with his sister and that makes him special because... Because he hulas badly? I really don't know. It's obvious that the producers have strategic placement of good and bad singers. If the powers that be only chose good people to battle it out, that wouldn't make for very good television, would it? Duh! There has to be drama and there has to be debate over who should win. So the real question is: are we all minions playing into the hands of some very talented producers?

If I had to guess I would say that Doolittle has it in the bag. The judges have never had a negative comment for her and she's obviously the prize they want to win. And she would deserve it. Her voice is smooth and flawless. HOWEVER, with the way things are going we could have a finale with Sanjaya singing some rendition of a "Do I Make You Proud" song while the victorious confetti gets caught in his long locks... And poor Chris Sligh will have to watch as David Hasselhof crys to Sanjaya's singing and not his, as he once dreamed. Oh, the horror!

not a three-star hotel

2007-03-20T11:08:00.000-07:00

Beware, my traveling friends. Beware of the Blake Hotel in Charlotte, North Carolina. Do not be fooled by the hip and trendy appearance on their website. There is a reason why most of those photos are various angles and chairs in the lobby and the finished section of the guest rooms. Notice that there are none of the exterior part of the hotel nor are there any of the bathrooms. When you're looking at 3 photos of a lamp on a bedside table, you've got issues. There is a reason, a very, very good reason, why this hotel chooses their photos carefully.

The Blake Hotel is quick to tell its guests to "excuse our mess" during the renovation. Their low-rates reflect this inconvenience - sort-of. They do plenty of apologizing for their poorly remodeled rooms, pointing the finger at their contractors. However, it is not the contractors that release the rooms to the public, dear readers, it is the responsibility of the management.

This is a section of the email I sent to the management detailing what went wrong with out stay:

I left a comment card upon our departure on Thursday, March 15. I have to tell you that I applaud your service-level. It exceeded my expectations. However, your hotel is far below the three-star rating hotels.com and expeida.com give it. I know you are under construction. I was aware of that before we arrived. It took us 3 rooms to find one that was acceptable. By acceptable, I mean that the room contained a smoke detector that was not hanging from the ceiling by wires, phones that worked, outlets that functioned, air conditioning that didn't sound like a jack-hammer coming through the wall and lights that turn off and on. The room we ended-up in (320) was severely unready for guests. There was construction dust in the corners of the floor and under the sink area in the not-too-clean bathroom, the tub was blackened and the mold/mildew in the grouting of the tile was displeasing, the carpet seemed to need another pass of the vacuum, the surfaces were dusty, the towels had mysterious stains on them and then the real problems started. I found nails and screws on the floor, the bed leg was not attached when it was assembled so when we sat on the bed it caved-in in the middle (we had to fix it ourselves, because at that point we were too tired to function), 3 of the outlets were not functioning, the pipes started rattling loudly about 10 minutes into the shower, the very nice flat screen TV channels were fuzzy and only functioned if you entered actual channel numbers (the up and down did not work), the sheets were scratchy and stained and the mirror over the dresser was still being painted - complete with wet black paint and masking tape. Any one of these items would not have been a huge deal (save for the bathroom), but combined together and considering this was room number 3 really made for an unpleasant stay. Your excellent service-level did not make up for the sub-par rooms. Even the hallways were incomplete and on the scary-side - they reminded me of an abandoned building that transients had taken over. I am glad that we got the room for a mid-week special price, because I cannot imagine how upset I would have been if we paid your weekend rates.

There was more to the letter, but I saved the good stuff for you. Please, take my advice - do NOT stay there! Perhaps things will turn around if and when they ever finish their remodel, but I won't be taking my chances when I'm in the area, again.

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO BRAVE THE BLAKE: Be aware that the parking garage is on the shady side. It's poorly lit, in an inconvenient location and it's privately run by the businesses next door. They will charge you for in and out privileges. I still don't understand why an entire empty parking lot to the right of the property belonging to the Blake is chained-off from guests, but I assume they have their reasons... They do have a shuttle that runs on the hour until 11:00 PM - it will take you to any downtown location for dining and entertainment - a pretty good perk for putting up with their horrible hotel.

Are you kidding me? Sanjaya?

2007-03-10T08:10:00.000-08:00

One of my guilty pleasures is American Idol. I am addicted. I watch. I vote. I get anxious if I feel like TiVo is going to let me down on one of the recordings. This all drives Justin nuts, because he passionately loathes the show.

If it isn't obvious to American Idol viewers at this point, a girl is going to win this year. Their talent outstrips the guys' by light years. Millions of light years. With, perhaps, the exception of the Beat-Boxin' Blake. Blake is still out sung by the top three divas, but is more original than most of the remaining 12.

For those of you watching this week, we are now into top 12 - meaning we get to see the Idols work with stylists (which can be hilarious) and various professional musicians. I STILL cannot believe that Sanjaya is in the top 12. Of all of the contestants EVER in the top 12, I think he just might be the most unworthy. Perhaps our friends at Vote for the Worst are making headway, but Sanajaya wasn't their pick when he made it into the top 12. I think he's worse than Kellie Pickler. At least Kellie Pickler had some personality - this guy sings OK, but he's so vanilla (and I'm not talking about ice cream flavors, Simon). He's so unimaginative and strange - he sings as though he's whispering through a bad lounge act. Plus, he's really on my bad side for massacring a John Mayer song. You just don't do that in my world. After his performance on Tuesday I wished it were possible to negative-vote. He literally made me cringe.

Keep your eyes on LaKisha and Melinda. If the world is fair - those 2 will battle it out for the crown. I mean, seriously, what must it be like to be the other 10 contestants going up against the polished, honey-coated voices of those two? They are both amazing. But what do I know? I thought Mandisa would end up in the top 3 last year...

little beans

2007-01-26T17:45:00.000-08:00

My sister had her sonogram today. She showed me the black and white print-out. Immediately I said "Awwww..." Then I stopped and pointed to the little bean-shaped thing inside of a black bubble and asked, "That's the baby, right?"

She nodded.

"Oh, good! Awww...."

maple topping could never be good for you

2007-01-22T10:31:00.000-08:00

I never pretended that a maple oat scone was good for you. I just never bothered to look at the nutrition facts for the treats I like. On Friday, I spent some time with a friend, who is also a Starbucks barista. He told me that the maple oat scone was the third worst pastry to get at Starbucks - giving us an outrageous figure of 49 grams of fat and 1200 calories. Imagine my horror as I recalled the balled-up pastry bag in my car - it still smelled like maple! I knew the darn thing was not good - but that was way worse than I ever imagined. So, with a sense of regret, I banned it's delicious maple-goodness from my life.

This morning, I decided to check the nutrition facts on all Starbucks foods. Well... OK, the scone is still not good for you, but my friend mis-quoted the figures - somehow more than doubling their numbers. However, as far as healthy food choices go, that scone IS THE WORST item in the case, rivaled only by the coffee cake and the apple fritter - which both have less fat than the scone. So, it's pretty bad, but if you ate salad with no dressing for the rest of the day and maybe a few non-fat yogurts, you wouldn't go over the daily allotment for fat or calories - that is, if you are a woman. You men get a lot more calories and fat per day... No fair! You already got standing while peeing!

your opinion here

2007-01-18T17:24:00.000-08:00

Dear blogdom, I call upon thee to give me a straight answer. I was involved in a debate today. A mild and non-political debate, but a dialogue of disagreement none-the-less. I want/desire/crave/yearn for your opinion.

Background: I was a journalism major when I started collage. I have litterings of "See you at the New York Times" all over my senior yearbook. Footloose and fancy-free, I was not. I took my role seriously. Others more so than I. And therein lies the loose string that unraveled my initial plans. Journalists I encountered were of a vicious and highly competitive nature. At the tender age of twenty, I decided (after spending a semester abroad) that I was not that sort of person and decided history was the real path for me. My reasoning was backed by a Glamour Magazine editor (Kirsten Golden-Something-or-Other) who told me that many magazines were looking for someone with a flare for writing, but with a well-rounded background. So, my new plan was to become part of the staff of magazine that would find value in someone well-versed in Early-Modern European History. Why? Because I was twenty.

So forgive me for taking this topic to heart, but it wields a certain power over me. Here is my question for you: Can someone learn to write or is a talent you hone-in on?

I maintain that you can teach someone how to properly use grammar, but being able to convey your message to the world - indubitably crafted to tell your story, or evoke specific emotions or opinions - is not something you can learn. It is something you are born with.

Forgive me, dear readers, if I am being harsh. I want to be persuaded otherwise. I would like to believe that I could sing like Norah Jones, if given the right vocal teacher and practice. I know that God gave each of us certain gifts and some people are ridiculously talented (eh-hem, Jen and Darlene) at one thing, like writing, while the rest of us find our gifts in other arenas. We can't all be good at one thing, or this would be a really boring world.

you don't know Jack

2007-01-16T16:41:00.000-08:00

I've waited many months for Jack to return. Fans were treated to a 24-ilicious 4-hour season premier. Lucky me, my husband got all of it last week, but somehow we didn't have time to watch it until Sunday. How delightful to start Jack's day six killing by having him bite into a terrorist's jugular. Very a-la Lost Boys.

I've had to bite my tongue for a whole day, since I knew that Jack killed Curtis earlier than many of my fellow fans. Poor, poor Curtis. I know him and Jack had their differences. I know Jack had to knock Curtis out and I know Curtis had to hold Jack and gun point more than once... But they were friends. What's with 24 kick-starting their seasons by killing awesome characters? Last year it was President Palmer, Tony, Michelle and Edgar, now it's Curtis. They better not mess with my favorite grouchy tech. Long live Chloe!

Although dead by the fourth hour, Ahmed is play by Taj from the Van Wilder movie. I just can't take him seriously, especially as a "bad guy." Plus, he's SO OBVIOUSLY INDIAN, not Middle-Eastern.

fantastic news

2007-01-11T09:42:00.000-08:00

No. Not me.

T'would seem as though I am surrounded by impregnated people and babies. However, none have come so close to home as this recent exciting announcement. I'm going to be an auntie! Ok, so I'm already an aunt, but this is my first niece/nephew since 1988.

My sister told me by placing a present in front of me. I asked, "What's this for?"

"For being a great sister," she replied and smiled.

Inside the box was a bib with "My Aunt Loves Me" embroidered on it. It took me about 30 seconds to figure it out, because at first I was thinking: Is this a joke? Why would she get a bib for my cat? Although that's not as bad as when my oldest sister told me (mind you, I was at the tender age of 10) that she was going to have a baby. My reply to that was, "Does Johnny know?"

I guess I am as blond as I look sometimes, but I did figure it out. I gave her a huge hug and cried with joy for her and my brother-in-law. I couldn't be happier for them.

Dale Wilson, I will never forget him...

2007-01-06T09:44:00.000-08:00

When someone passes tragically and without any kind of warning the shock you see in the stricken faces around you is almost too wretched to bear. The weight on your heart seems to press the air out of your lungs and in between shallow breaths, the reality seeps in as the blur from your tears takes over your sight.

On Tuesday around 10:30 PM I got a call that Dale Wilson, someone that I worked with in So. San Francisco, left work on Tuesday night, headed to the gym and collapsed on the treadmill. He didn't make it. The last time that I saw Dale was on December 20, my last day with the company. He planned, arranged and picked-up my going-away lunch from Max's. I went to his desk to thank him for planning the whole thing and to let him know how much I had enjoyed working with him in particular. He gave me a huge bear hug that really took me by surprise then he got a little misty and asked me if I was leaving right then. I told him that I was actually going to be around a bit to help here and there, but not on a regular basis. He grinned and said "Oh, so this isn't goodbye, then. Good." Other than a few work-related issues, those were basically our last words to each other. If I had known I wouldn’t speak with him again, I would have told him how much I really admired him and how much fun it was to work with him.

Difficult doesn't begin to decribe trying to imagine how things will be without him. I went into the office the day after I got the news, and you could still feel him in the office. He left for work that day, like any other. His navy fleece jacket was still on the back of his chair, his notes were everywhere and the feel of "Dale" was still all over his corner. I was thinking about how it must be unfathomable for the office to seem normal, ever again. If you really think about it, you spend more awake-time with the people you work with than your family. This office is like a family - absolutely like a family. And they are mourning like one. My already heavy heart ached all the more as I stepped into their grief. Dale was an integral part of the office - he was the glue.

As for myself, I am still shocked. The night after I found out, I had a dream that we were misinformed. I dreamt that we got to the office and were told that Dale was really OK, but he was in the hospital. We got to the hospital and there was Dale - telling us that he was just fine and not to worry. I woke-up with the sense that he was fine and that it was all a big mistake.

Many times I thought that Dale was so "cute." And by that I meant that his personality was so gentle, caring and yet powerful that he reminded me of my dad. There was something about Dale that made you feel like you could trust him with your life. I knew Dale for just under a year, but in that time, I took away my own window into his life. Here is what he will always be to me:
- Fun to play pranks on.
- Someone with an excellent sense of humor.
- Kind-hearted.
- A proud father.
- The beaming best man for his son's upcoming wedding.
- Someone who took pride in his work.
- The guy who called me Heidi for wearing my hair in messy buns.
- Someone who took all of the Moosejaw jibes we gave him.
- Someone who left grammatically-incorrect notes. :)
- The biggest Giant's fan I have ever met.
- Really into baseball. Period.
- Protective of those he loves.
- A strong leader in the office.
- The Little League Coach with a cute glint in his eyes.
- Someone who was at Candlestick when the '89 Earthquake hit.
- Definitely someone who spoke softly, but carried a big stick.
- Someone who didn't carry anger with him.
- A deeply sentimental man.
- A great man with a sense of duty.
- Someone with an admirable work-ethic.
- Fiercely loyal.

While this is really sad for me, it's even harder for his family. He leaves his newly-engaged son and daughter behind. I know he was very close to his children. Please pray that his family and friends find strength and peace through Christ. I know everyone touched by Dale feels as I do - fortunate to have ever known him. He will never be forgotten.

So, it is with a heavy heart that I end week one of 2007.

for justin

2007-01-02T09:12:00.000-08:00

He loves Jesus.
He is faithful.
He is a loving and caring father.
He puts family at the top of his priorities.
He takes care of me.
He worries about me when my cough has been hanging on too long.
He makes me laugh.
He laughs at my jokes and sense of humor.
He thinks I'm beautiful.
He loves to just spend time with me, doing whatever.
He encourages me, daily.
He tries to figure out what I want, even when I don't even know.
He's always fixing my computer problems.
He will make dinner.
He loves my cooking.
He lets me listen to Kelly Clarkson when it's my iPod time.
He gives me honesty when I need/want it.
He doesn't attempt to do my laundry.
He does chores around the house, without complaint.
He does the heavy lifting, even though I don't ask for help.
He is always by my side at whatever I have RSVPed for.
He will take a turn on the dancefloor, even though he doesn't like to.
He pays attention.
He lets me buy Best Food mayonaise, even if it's more expensive.
He loves our kitty.
He will bring me cheese on a Wassa cracker, when I'm hungry.
He steps-up to volunteer, because he really wants to.
He wants the very best for the people around him.
He is the love of my life.

I can't even list all of the things he does and is. If I tried you would be scrolling forever.

the me I am

2006-12-28T11:59:00.000-08:00

The following statements are coincidental in timing - they are not resolutions:

I am a woman who will be defined by her passion for Christ.
I am a wife who is truly committed to her husband and treats him with respect.
I am a step-mom who calls Luke on a regular basis.
I am a daughter who is there for her parents when they call.
I am defined by my commitment to maintaining my friendships.
My business is run in my order of priorities. God and family come first.
I am a businesswoman with talent and dedication to excellence.
My body will not place last in my order of priorities.
I am a woman who strives to put health on the top shelf.
I am a mother who reads and gains wisdom from other great parents.
I am a leader who reads and gains wisdom from other great leaders.
I read my Bible daily.
Gossip is not something I am known to be involved in.
I am known for taking a stance, when the ground is worth standing on.
I arrive 5 minutes before I am expected.
I sleep-in, by going to bed earlier.
I am a morning person.
I am a giving and generous person.
I give credit to God for all of my blessings.
I know when to say "no."
I am truly greatful for my life and understand that it is not my own.

Take a look. That is who I strive to be - every day. If it's true that you don't get what you want, you get what you think about - then this is the list I need to think about every day. I call on God to change my heart so that this list will become a reality.

the claw

2006-12-27T08:23:00.000-08:00

I feel sorry for the kid who wins this prize - courtesy of "the claw."

feliz navidad

2006-12-24T16:50:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to all... And to all a goodnight.
(Yes, that is our tree.)

ho ho ho

2006-12-20T19:09:00.000-08:00

Our tree is up, the first round of Christmas parties have come and gone and it's down right frosty outside. It feels like Christmastime. So, the Christmas spirit has officially hit me. So has the winter flu. Good timing.

I would like to announce to everyone, "I AM DONE!!!" No more shopping, just a lot of wrapping for me. I hope to take care of some of it tonight. Before I head off to dilly-dally with the paper and bows, one quick story straight from the grocery store:

I walked up to the section where they sell the eggs, there was an older woman standing there as I approached. There was one kind of egg on sale and it looked like there was just one carton left. It appeared as though we were both contemplating what to do about the last carton of "sale" eggs. Then I spotted the crate next to it - full of the same kind of eggs, but not marked as a sale item. As I was grabbing the carton and checking for specimens, she asked me "Are those on sale, as well?"

I looked up at her. She had really kind eyes, but a daring sparkle winked at me from behind her long, blue-gray bangs. "I think so. They're the same kind of egg... Oh well, I hope so!"

She sighed and returned her study to the eggs, but said "Oh good, I thought I was going to have to fight you for the last one."

"I would have let you have it." I smiled.

"The gray hair helps, huh?"

"No, you were here first." She laughed as I walked away. A few steps away I cheerfully turned back and shouted "Merry Christmas!"

just hear those sleigh bells ring-a-ling...

2006-12-05T21:52:00.000-08:00

Holidays. I love them as much as I dread them. I haven’t mustered-up the courage to hit the streets in my own holiday bustle. I wish I had the time to be extra crafty, because then I would make stuff for the people I love. I know two Jennifers that knit and I can’t get past step one - you know, the buying the yarn and needles part. So, if I changed my name perhaps I could learn to knit fast enough to hang some of my own stockings with care.

The world tells us that we aren’t good people if don’t give gifts. Scratch that - if we don’t BUY gifts. Apparently, it’s not even an option for those of us over the age of 12. And I guess my husband doesn’t love me if there isn’t a Lexus with a big red bow in our driveway. Who the heck are these people? And why do they get to dictate to me how my holiday should be spent.

So in the spirit of Christmas, here is my very own wish list - sans the Coach hobo I’ve been coveting: a day where I can sleep until 9:00 AM without guilt; coffee in bed from my husband; a day where we focus on the birth of our Savior, for real, not just as a gesture; a day where family doesn’t compete for who’s giving the best gift; a day where dishes do not default to me; and a day where I can snuggle down deep into the love I can feel radiating from those I hold dearest. The best part? It’s free - unless you count the beans for the coffee. Free, yet priceless. The same could be said of salvation, I guess.

Good luck out there. Don’t feel pressure to buy, buy, buy. That’s not what it’s about. Really. I’m serious.

fat turkeys are we

2006-11-21T21:03:00.000-08:00

It's that time, again. Time to gobble, gobble, gobble! This year, we'll be gobbeling at the in-laws. I'm excited, but I'll miss my local fam.

I am thankful for my family. Thankful for my loving and hilarious husband, thankful that my mom found a new walk with Christ, thankful that my dad found a new reason to fight, thankful for my beautiful sisters, thankful that we're all so supportive of each other and thankful that no matter what - we have each other.

does lack of sleep help BSG get better?

2006-11-15T01:21:00.000-08:00

I would like to thank the lovely crew at one of seven local Starbucks locations, not only for knowing my name, but for the delightful treats that help me get my work done. Without them, I would sleep at normal hours and lose my dizzy, jittery, jumpy state of existence. Long live the all-nighters! The ANs and I have a special relationship that we have been perfecting since high school mid-terms. Thanks to my age and discovery of espresso, we have laid our dear Vivarin to rest.

In other news... Thanks to the Fracking Blog's posting of my BSG-hate, my husband wants me to admit that I now watch it with him. I am purposely NOT telling all of you non-geeks what BSG is. If you don't know - you might be better off, unless of course you WANT to add yet another season pass to your TIVOs. I begrudgingly admit that for a show that is about, as Jackson stated, "people dealing with stuff," it's not bad... Ok, it's pretty good. BUT I refuse to go back and spend countless hours trying to catch up on the past seasons... That's just WAY too geeky for moi, plus Memoirs of Geisha and In Her Shoes are coming up in our Netflix queue.

Without further ado, I get back to my dear AN.

there's only one way to get this sticker

2006-11-07T13:15:00.000-08:00

Get yours at your local polling place TODAY!

A word of advice: When you're at your polling place, getting ready to fill-out your ballot (why do they keep changing the way we fill out ballots?) you only need to draw one line, not "complete" the arrow by filling in the entire block. It will take you much less time than it did me. Oh, and you could look at the instructions... They are pretty clear. But for those of us who skip directions - this advice will carry you far.

Oh yeah, and VOTE!

happy halloween

2006-10-31T09:53:00.000-08:00

sexy nurse costume

2006-10-24T11:07:00.000-07:00

While Justin and I are creating our top secret costumes (photos to follow after Saturday's party), I think with the current theme of the above link, we'll have a chance at being the most original people there.

In the words of Lindsay Lohann's character in Mean Girls "...Halloween is the the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it."

Why is that? Worse than that... Why do people think this is sexy? I mean, I get the whole no clothes thing, but doesn't this come off like you're trying too hard?

tit for tat and tea bags

2006-10-19T19:53:00.000-07:00

I am guilty; I leave old cups of coffee around.

I get up, pour myself some coffee and then proceed to do any number of morning activities. The cold mug, with a starburst of old cream in the middle, remains to be found later in the day... Sometimes they aren’t discovered until the next day. Hey, I didn’t say it wasn’t gross.

As of late, due to the afore mentioned flu, my mug litter has been those with soggy tea bags floating in the last two inches of cold, mint tea.

I giggle a little when Justin finds them and takes them to the sink, shuddering with repugnance. I guess this is my revenge for a stinky kitty box is in effect. The domestic life of the Tiptons will resonate with the ongoing argument of: No scoopy? No put away muggy!

on this day...

2006-10-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

18 years ago, I was in 7th grade at Prince of Peace Lutheran Church and School in Fremont. Every year the 7th and 8th grade classes went to Outdoor Education. This is where we spent 4 days in the Santa Cruz Mountains at a small college. We had looked forward to it since 5th grade.

After the commotion of choosing rooms and roommates was over, we had a brief orientation and then we were off to our various classes. Towards the end of the afternoon I was in the "Editable Plants" tour. My best friend at the time, Christy Morris, and I were giggling and joking about pushing one of the boys over the edge of our walkway down the ravine - it wasn't that far down, but it was pretty steep and there was a creek at the bottom. We jumped at the sound of a horn behind us - it was the ranger in his Jeep and he needed to get by. As we made way for the Jeep on the small trail, the loudest "BOOOM" you ever heard shot through the air. I thought that the engine had exploded in the Jeep (ah, a mechanic's daughter), but as we looked back at the Jeep it started to bounce about 3 feet off the ground.

I was not sure what was going on. To my amazement and disbelief, I was thrown the ground and had to cling to the vines and plants to keep from falling down the very ravine I had been joking about. Meanwhile, our tour guide was trying to keep us away from the dangerous Jeep that was bouncing all over the place. The dirt trail moved in waves before my eyes - it moved fluidly, like when there are too many kids a pool and the water splashes about. The trees bent like rubber from one side to the other, hitting the side of the mountain and then bending over to graze the ground. Leaves, dirt and dust flew everywhere - obstructing my view. I don't remember being terrified as much as I remember feeling confused. Once the jolting had subsided, the earth moved in a swaying, gentle, side-to-side motion for a bit before it calmed to a still. We all laid on the ground looking around at our tousled, freighted classmates and it hit us… Earthquake.

You see, this wasn't just any earthquake; it was the 1989 Loma Prieta Earthquake. Those 15 seconds seem to make time stand still. We rushed back to the campus, to find utter destruction. The only building that seemed to be solid was the chapel/cafeteria. The retaining wall between the mountain and the dorms had split all the way along the entire wall and shifted 6 inches out. The bunk beds were over-turned, the toilets and showers were shattered and our belongings were everywhere. It was as if the room had been literally turned upside down. Our teachers and counselors gave us 10 minutes to grab whatever we could find and we had to leave the rest. In retrospect, I am guessing that we should not have been allowed back in the dorms, at all. The search for our belongings was fruitless.

Because of the road destruction and the heavy traffic, the teachers opted to stay the night and leave in the morning. We had no outside communication with our parents, this was before most people had cell phones (something my mom took care of the very next day) and the land lines were down. We were all so worried about our families and knew they must have been worried about us, too. The entire night was riddled with aftershocks. I don’t think any of us slept. We didn't know the entire extent of the destruction until we saw Watsonville on the ride home. Piles and piles of bricks took over the roads. We didn't know about the bridges and fires until we finally got home. It turned out that our location was just 4 miles from the epicenter of the earthquake.

Today, I honor the memory of the many people who lost their lives that day. My entire family and home was fortunate to come out unscathed. It had to be a God-thing that we were all OK. It’s just so weird to think that it was 18 years ago… Am I really that old?

*** Correction: the earthquake was 17 years ago (Oct. 17, 1989). I just cannot count. Thanks, anonymous. ***

sick and questioning

2006-10-15T11:11:00.000-07:00

Well, it's official. I am sick. I seem to get the flu whenever I have been running too hard for too long.

I need advice. You see, I have a really hard time saying "no." When it comes to serving God, I feel like there is no such thing as "no." How can you say no to Christ?

So, about four months ago, I made the decision to take a break from the team that I lead. This is not a responsible thing for a leader to do, but there was no one to take over and I felt like I was going to snap. I started to feel afraid to step through the church doors, because I knew someone was going to ask something of me and I wouldn't be able to say no. So I have been on hiatus. My intent was to take a break and come back feeling refreshed. I have not reached the refreshed point. It seems like the break actually took me further way from my ministry and lead me in a different direction.

I recently worked on a mail out for the church and I really felt like I was pushing through it, but not doing it joyfully. I love design work. I really do. But for some reason this project just sucked the creativity right out of me and I was not happy with the end product. This is a piece that went out to 50,000 homes! I feel like I totally failed for God, because I didn't have my heart in the right place.

I feel drained and emotionally empty from life. My dad hasn't been doing well (in fact he was recently hospitalized due to complications with his chemotherapy drugs). That weighs heavily on my soul. My stupid THREE jobs keep me insanely busy and overworked. Lately I have had a rush of important events to be a part of, I have a social schedule from hell and work that keeps piling up on me. I feel like I'm running, running, running and not getting anywhere. I am almost glad that I'm sick so that I have a legitimate reason to stay in bed today. What is wrong with me?

Here's the really bad part: I am supposed to be putting together the church newsletter and I just am not into it. In fact, I resent people asking me about it. I even resent the church staff for asking me about it. I know it's all me. I know I am the one who's over committing. I think a part of me was hoping that people would be more understanding about why things aren't getting done. But I understand that life goes on and cannot wait for me. The church is doing a huge push for fund-raising and increasing attendance (we're trying to build a bigger building to fit everyone). So it's a paradox, I guess. It makes sense that I should be saying yes, but the whole thing makes me consider leaving my church - just so I don't have a to deal with it.

I don’t know if it’s safe for me to be there and in a place of leadership. I am not embodying their vision. I feel so selfish, guilty and embarrassed that I just can’t seem to pull it together. What would you do?

a note on customer service

2006-10-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

I don't care who you are. This is America. Sure, we have our own royalty avec les celebrities, reality TV actors, musicians and so on. But part of the American-charm is being able to scratch and claw your way to these A-lists. It's really a level playing field, as long as you're talented, good-looking and have the right connections. I don't bow to said A-listers, B-listers and any other person pretending to be more important than those around them. So, under Christ, I think everyone is equal and deserves the same amount of respect and attention.

Walnut Creekians do not agree with my theory (nor does most of the world, but I don't care). My mom was making her purchases at david m. brian and was at the front of the line. She got the counter only for the clerk to look behind her and then quickly say to her fellow sales associate, "Maggie, can you please help this lady? I am going to ring-up Mrs. Madden." For those of you who don't live around here, John Madden and family are our "locals" and apparently you can run into them frequently. Mrs. Madden brushed past my mother in a huff and, nose in air, made her purchases ahead of my mom. Needless to say, she was deeply embarrassed and made to feel like she was nothing in comparison to Mrs. Friggin' John Madden. What kills me is the two-part faux pas: that the sales associate put her in front of my mom and that Mrs. Madden had no problem with it - nay, expected it.

The sales associate might as well have said "Lady, you're not important to me, nor this company, but the wife of a famous guy, is. I don't care if you make your purchases or not. All that matters is that I serve someone I deem higher-up the food chain than you, even though it's not likely that there's anything in it for me and I'm certain that Mrs. Madden will forget who I am 20 seconds after leaving the counter. Either way, move aside and make room for someone more important."

Justin's good friend, Ryan, started a blog to note and complain of service faux pas and I think it's a brilliant way of sharing which companies are doing what to the real people of this country. Venting does make you feel better.

stolen from frances - fun

2006-10-10T20:08:00.000-07:00

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button

Opening Credits:
Suspension Without Suspense - No Doubt

Waking Up:
Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain - Willie Nelson

First Day At School:
The Great Gig in the Sky - Pink Floyd

Falling In Love:
Track 03 (Mr. Roboto) - Styx

Fight Song:
You Got No Right - Velvet Revolver

Breaking Up:
Lady - Lenny Kravitz

Prom:
Don't Do Me Like That - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

Life's OK:
Somebody Get Me a Doctor - Van Halen

Mental Breakdown:
Sing, Sing, Sing - Benny Goodman

Driving:
Here's to You - Joan Baez

Flashback:
The Things You Said - Depeche Mode

Getting Back Together:
You Learn - Alanis Morissett (HA!)

Wedding:
Box Full of Letters - Wilco (WTF?)

Birth of Child:
We Both Reached For the Gun - Chicago Soundtrack (hilarious!)

Final Battle:
My Father's Gun - Elton John

Death Scene:
Here We Go Again - Ray Charles

Funeral Song:
Sing Alleluia - Jennifer Knapp

Credits:
The Christmas Waltz - Peggy Lee

Surprise at the end of the credits?
You Found Me - Kelly Clarkson

john, my musical hero

2006-10-02T08:49:00.000-07:00

John Mayer is seriously incredible in conert. I swore to myself that I would never buy another concert ticket if I couldn't see the band without the screens. However, if it's John Mayer, I would sit on the lawn!

we need to remember, always.

2006-09-11T11:31:00.000-07:00

I will never, ever, ever forget.

worth it

2006-08-31T10:02:00.000-07:00

Last night I finally watched the Phantom of the Opera movie. It took me a while to get it on DVD. I have seen the production 4 times, so I didn't feel the need to rush out and see the movie. It's worth the DVD rental. Don't expect it to be drastically different from the production, because there are few changes. In fact, the score was exactly the same, save for a few line changes here and there. Gerald Butler is perhaps the best looking phantom I've ever seen - even without the mask. Emmy Rossman was absolutely stunning as Christine Daaé. However, I'm so used to the vocal stylings of Sarah Brightman and Michael Crawford that most other pale in comparison. Perhaps the most unexpected performance was Minnie Driver as Carlotta.

I did enjoy the future segments of Raoul going to buy the monkey music box in the shape of a barrel organ. The movie has him running into Meg where they acknowledge each other, but do not speak. At the end, they show Raoul placing the music box at Christine's grave where there is a rose with a black ribbon - attached is a the ring Christine gave him the last time she saw him. So, the Phantom lives... I really loved the ending.

dark clouds...

2006-08-18T08:52:00.000-07:00

No, not in my coffee, Carly.

Sometimes the storms of life swell around you and you seem to be caught in a current taking you further and further away from the upbeat person you used to be.

When my dad was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma in 2001, I went from optimistic to blaming God. It took some royal kicks in the butt to get back to throwing myself at Jesus' feet and hanging on for dear life. I am glad to say that because of that season, it has made this one easier to approach. Now, easier is not easy. Watching my dad go through this has been the hardest thing I think I have had to do, yet. He has new pain. New pain is not good when you're fighting new pain on top of new pain. I'm "in it" guys. I'm in what seems like a dark, dark season of life. And the reality is that there's a strong possibility (that no one seems to be admitting) that he won't make it.

We're planning a family trip, so that we can spend time together while he's still feeling well. Which is a little upsetting. I know we should all live like there's no tomorrow, but planning for the absence of tomorrow is terrifying and unsettling.

"Don't despair, there is still hope," I keep telling myself. There is always hope, even on your deathbed, there is the promise of hope. The doctors haven't been overly helpful in telling me what's going on and my parents are protecting me, I think. Of course, I find it insulting to discover that at almost 30, my parents are trying to protect me. Ok, it's sweet in a way, but it's infuriating when you just want to know what's going on. Of course, I'm too scared to call the oncologist myself. Here's what I know:
- He's on A LOT of morphine and the cancer seems to be spreading rapidly.
- He's on chemotherapy, but we won't know if it's working for a bit.
- He has a bone marrow biopsy next week.

God has been so good to us. He has brought my mom to a real faith in Him and she's walking the walk. We're all praying and holding onto the Truth. I can't believe how hard it is for me to go through the motions of the day - like nothing is wrong. And if I say something is wrong, I'm faced with a multitude of comments ranging from the highly inappropriate to the heart-warming. I am running a gamut - literally. Trying to move forward, dodging the people who I know will say something odd, running from my tears and feeling ridiculous for being SO emotional all the time.

TOTALLY RANDOM SIDE NOTE: Stay tuned for my plans to go on a mission to South Africa. If you haven't joint the one campaign - do it today.

this is why battlestar galactica...

2006-08-02T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ends up at the top of our Netflix queue. Ok, so Justin ends up with some chick flicks, too, but man... You should see what I have to endure!

it's so hot...

2006-07-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

... that the A/C is out in the mall.
... that the refrigerators broke at Albertsons.
... that the A/C and some refrigerators were also broken at Safeway.
... that EVERYONE feels the need to mention the excessive heat, myself included.
... that nothing you wear is cool enough - even underwear feels like too much.
... that the water I left in the car could have boiled an egg when I came back.
... that the temperature gauges are reading 111 today!

105...

2006-07-21T16:01:00.000-07:00

IS TOO HOT for Pleasanton. I am going to my sister's house to swim. But I get to look forward to 107 tomorrow... I'm puddeling.

20 Minutes later... Ok, it's 107, now. It's 4:52 and hotter than ever. Help!

not good

2006-07-20T10:30:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I posted about my dad. For those of you whom are unaware, my dad has been suffering with Multiple Myeloma (blood cancer - also known as plasma cell myeloma) since 2001. It has been a long, tiring battle. We thought we had it under control. However, inside of 3 months, his cancer had aggressively progressed to manifest itself as lesions on the bone - as the doctors said, "It's just the way that the disease progresses." It goes to show us that nothing is in our control.

I am not ready for his disease to progress. He is going to begin radiation treatments today and he is going to try another chemotherapy in the pill form, but the grim response from his doctors is not encouraging. I am not trying to be all about doom and gloom. I know miracles happen and I know we have experienced many miracles with his progress thus far. It's just disheartening to see him worse than he's ever been and to know that the cancer is eating at his bones causing him terrible, terrible pain.

This is my daddy, I'm talking about. He's not just my father. He's been the strong arms to throw me into the air when I was a girl, his were the footsteps through the front door that sent me running, he is the gentle giant always on my side, he is the buddy I turn to when I'm frustrated, he was the proud and smiling vision from behind my wedding veil and until my husband, he was the leading man in my life. He's my daddy and he's in pain. His soft baby blues betray him, even through his strong countenance and bravado. He is in pain and he is scared. I don't think anything has scared me this much, in a very, very long time.

I am weary and trying my best to lean on Christ. I know He takes the burdens from my shoulders. I know He is the only way through all of this. Please pray for him.

my stepson

2006-07-10T13:13:00.000-07:00

On Saturday, we started to dismantle Luke's room. We go through this every time he visits. We keep large storage bins full of his topys and decorations in our garage and just before he comes out, we transform the guest room/office into Luke's room. It's something nice for him - he knows that he has a room with us. This year's dismantle was harder for me than I expected. I miss him.

hurt someone you love, by doing something foolish

2006-07-04T17:07:00.000-07:00

Someone from my past decided it would be a good idea to attempt a courtship with someone I'm very close to. The person from the past is an unsavory individual wtih a recent history of putting me, and my family, through a certain amount of pain. Being of reasonably sound mind and body, I informed said loser that he was to stay away from my dear friend - which of course, he did not.

I did not expect this woman, whom I would consider closer to me than my own sisters, to choose to reciprocate an interest. Feeling partially obligated to inform her of all the details, I decided it would be a good idea to tell her EVERYTHING. Very few people know the whole truth. I also told her, albeit late, that it hurt my feelings that she continued on with this. This has changed nothing.

Where I have erred: getting involved at all. When it comes down to it, I don't care who dates whom. I just care that someone I love is headed down a road, paved with my tears, side by side with one of the persons personally responsible for it.

What kills me: it's irrelevant to her.

Yep... I can not give y'all the details, because it wouldn't be right. I'm not even saying my irritation is justified, but I cannot help how repulsed and hurt I am by the whole thing.

Not-so-BCBG, you suck.

for ian, my brother-in-law

2006-06-18T21:47:00.000-07:00

Don't ask, y'all.

parenting 101

2006-06-13T10:33:00.000-07:00

Someday we'll have a full-time kids, but right now I am totally enjoying my son, Luke. He is so adorable. We were in the car and he said, "Marla, I love everybody about you." I looked back at him and realized (for the first time) how fiercely I love him back.

We took him on his anual trip to Disneyland this past weekend and it was a blast. He looks forward to it every year, so we can't let him down. While I'm certain he has a crush on Cinderella and Mary Poppins, he won't go near them. This is in direct contrast to the bear hugs he gave every other character just last year. Oh well, we always wanted him to be a little more cautious of strangers. Trip highlight: in turtle talk, Crush spoke to Luke and said the force was strong with him. That was a pleasure for both daddy and Luke.

predictions

2006-05-24T09:39:00.000-07:00

I believe that Taylor Hicks will win tonight. Honestly, I think he deserves it more than Kat. After tonight, no more Idol talk for about 7-8 months - I know Justin will be happy.

coolest surprise EVER!

2006-05-22T09:13:00.000-07:00

Guess who got to visit Pixar Studios yesterday and got a sneak preview of Cars? No, not her... Not him, either... It was me, silly!

What a totally cool place Pixar is. I mean, I think it would be cool just to a receptionist there. My favorite part was the tour my dad's friend gave us. We got to see original artwork and story boards... Their super-cool employee kitchen/break area temporarily transformed into a diner setting in honor of the movie. The main atrium lobby has a cafeteria (complete w/ wood-fired pizza), sitting areas that have video games, foosball, ping pong and air hockey. The seats in the theater as SO comfortable and HUGE. I think all theaters should have them. And any place that has a giant Sully and Mike at their entrance is OK with me. I was so excited to be there. What cracks me up, is that I don't think my dad nor my mom understood how special it was to be invited. Anyway... That was my Sunday.

because Becci wanted me to...

2006-05-18T10:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so we're at the finale of American Idol next week. Back in March I circled the people I thought would make it to the end. I was totally wrong with Mandisa, however low and behold who is left? Kat and Taylor - both people I circled. Take that, Simon! I can call it, too! So, with the shocking elimination of Chris last week, it was down to Kat, Taylor and Elliot. I was hoping it would be Kat and Elliot, but that's not going to happen.

Anyway... I do not have a talent for certainty. Last year, I was certain that Bo would win it. I was wrong. This year, the numbers seem to favor Taylor, but it's hard to tell. I like them both. Honestly. I have been voting for Kat and Elliot, because I'm just plain tired of Southerners taking the win on Idol. It's time for a change. That being said, I think I would buy an album from any of the top 5. Does that make them all winners?

flying flaming bagels

2006-05-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

I am totally into Thomas's everything bagels. Whilst munching on today's doughy breakfast, I was reminded of something that I later shared with my cousin... So, I'm going to share this radnom tidbit with y'all.

While I was still a student dorming at good old SJSU, I had a run in with the student union toaster. Without going into too much detail about the meals system of a dormee, the stuent union offered much better food than the dorm cafeteria. Sure, you could grub endlessely at the dorm, but why? It was pretty digusting. Suffice to say, I was thinner in those days.

Because I was insane and always had an early class, the student union would be pretty empty when I went there in the mornings. So, follwoing standard routine, I grabbed my tray, my OJ from the refridgerated area and strolled over to the toast and bagel section. Unconcerned about the charred bits of bagel and toast strewn across the floor, I cut my everything bagel with that cool bagel-slicer-thingy and put the pieces into the toaster. Click. All I had to do is wait. With one eye on the toaster (I was sure someone would try to steal my already-toasted breakfast) and one eye on some cute guy, I waited. I am not sure how many minutes had passed, but suddenly the toaster sparked, sizzled and shot a black, flaming bagel in my direction. The bagel was actually on fire and smoking as it landed in a crackle-thud at my feet. Flakes of what used to be seeds and wonderfulness landed in hundreds of bits around the bagel on my shoe. I was half horrified, but mostly amused.

"Um... How do I say this? The toaster over there just shot out a flaming bagel at me." I was satisfied that I had done my good deed, certain she would praise me for telling her. I have always been such a goody-two-shoes.

"Yeah, it does that," she replied with a shrug, not even looking up. She was completely unphased.

"But, it's sparking and catching things on FIRE," certainly that would catch her attention.

"It's broken." Was her only reply.

What did I expect? She was a student-employee and I'm sure she had been there since 5:00 AM, so I'm sure a toaster shooting flaming bagels was the least of her concerns.

"Well, I'm not paying for it," was all I could say and I sent a sad glance in the direction of someone else begining their dangerous toasting-experience. After all, I only had so many breakfast points... But CLEARLY that girl loved her job and didn't want to see any harm come to her peers. She should have been commended. Seriously.

do I have to...

2006-05-08T20:39:00.000-07:00

Turn 29? I don't wanna! Funny how years creep up you. Didn't I just turn 21? Who sped up the clock? I'm going to enjoy my last few days of 28. Any suggestions?

happy anniversary to honey

2006-05-02T21:40:00.000-07:00

We spent our second anniversary in Disneyland. For those of you whom assume I must be tired of Disneyland - never go against a Sicilian when death is on the line! I never tire of the D-Land. I do, however, grow weary of rude guests, children wearing leashes or harnesses, insolent train conductors and men who think they should move to the front of the line just because they pay $1200 a night to stay there.

I know many former Disneyland employees would not agree with me, but if I didn't have to worry about pay, lived in the greater Anaheim area and did not have a family that I cared to see - I would love to work in Walt's wonderful place. No matter how many times I go, it's always magical for me.

I'm really excited about how these photos came out. We stayed to the very last minute in the park - just to get some good shots without hordes of people in them. Not bad for our little digital Casio Exilim - not bad, at all, I say.

I swear that all baristas cannot hear

2006-04-26T10:40:00.000-07:00

I am so glad that Berla isn't my real name. I have to wonder if I look like a Berla. What about me would make someone think, " She must have said Berla!" I still find it amusing and will continue to share my Starbucks adventures avec the many names. Can I call this a misnomer? I think I should. In the meantime, could you order me a non-fat, sugar-free vanilla, extra hot latte?

either way...

2006-04-16T20:09:00.000-07:00

I was at Nordstrom a couple days ago. It had been raining all day. You know the kind of rain that seems to seep into your bones? You know it - it's the kind of rain that is unending, unfailing and ever-present. It's just the sort of thing people get sick of after weeks and weeks of beimg subjected to it's endless fury. But just before I arrived at the mall, I saw a slight twinkle of stars as the clouds parted and the rain ceased for a couple of hours.

The saleswoman, knowing that the store's closing was drawing near and that she would soon be out in the weather, asked me, "Is it still raining outside?" She stole a sideways glare at her umbrella perched against the counter behind her.

"No, it's clear out. It's actually pretty nice." I replied, also thankful for a break.

"I hope it clears up for the weekend. Do you think it will rain on Easter?" She asked with a hopefull glint in her eyes that made me smile.

Then I laid on the cheese... "Either way, the son will be here."

She looked up with a arched surprise that quickly melted into a furrorwed brow of suspicion, acknowleding my feeble attmept at wit, but was unimpressed nonetheless. I, receipt in hand, sheepishly grinned at her, shrugged and trotted on my way.

Happy Easter!